Confused About BF's kid and Ex-Wife
I have been dating my BF for a year now. There were some quasi-lies in the beginning about him still being married and living with his ex (that I later found out the reasoning behind them still living together - it was for financial reasons only and that they had been separated legally for about a year, and the relationship was dead for 4 years previous to us dating)- but he soon got divorced and moved out. We now live together.
He has partial custody of his son (6 y.o.a) and we have him every wednesday for dinner and every other weekend. Previous to us moving in together 4 months ago, I would visit with him and noticed that his ex would constantly text and i mentioned how it was annoying at the least and he took care of that. I also noticed that his son still was adjusting to the whole daddy moving out and daddy being with someone else issue - but he always talked about "mommy and daddy" being together. I dealt with it then, as I figured it would soon get old the more he seen his daddy with me. This has not changed.
My first issue is: His son is an only son and I have two that live with us. He is completely spoiled in every area possible (only child syndrome). How do I, as a quasi-step mom, handle his whining, complaining about food (he only eats a handful of types of food - whereas my kiddos eat everything I cook with no complaints - I like to experiment in the kitchen and love cooking non-traditional meals), his constant verbal wishes for daddy and mommy to get back together, and most recently (last night) his begging my BF for him and the ex and son to go to dinner alone (without me and my kiddos) once a week, and for daddy to remarry mommy.
My second issues: His ex-wife...to me she seems extremely bitter - which confuses the heck out of me because if they have had a "dead relationship" for over 4 years - she shouldn't be bitter and she has also had a few bf's since I have been in the picture. She follows the court order to the tee when it comes to our likes of seeing his son a little longer, or for an extended period, etc., but it is okay for her to text at the last minute asking if we can drop him off later, or on a rare occasion to "babysit" him. I have a feeling that some of the things that their son says to me is directly from her or things she talks to him about in the hopes he mentions them to us, etc., and I am NOW at the point where I am completely frustrated with this entire situation.
I love my BF more than anything, and plan on spending the rest of my life with him, but just want some honest advice how to handle this. Also, how to deal with the ex and whether or not there is anything I can do/say to either make it stop (both child and ex-wife) or what!
Thank you, in advance, for all help!