gal meeting and conversations with bm
DH and I met with the GAL earlier this week. I was a bit hesitant to go but DH's attorney said it was really important we both be there and show a united front. Plus, since I was the main "witness" to the incident, I needed to tell the GAL firsthand what happened.
So I guess the GAL had already spoken with BM and, of course, she is taking the stance that she was NOT trying to drive with her son. Her story is that she was trying to leave and he was upset and wanted to go with her and got in the car and wouldn't get out.
Thankfully, we have the police report backing up that BM was intoxicated, trying to leave with her son and that she was removed from our property and taken to the station, and that SS was left with me. This is all good for us.
The GAL unfortunately did tell us what our attorney had prepped us for---that with this one incident, DH is just not going to get full custody. He highly recomended "hotlining" BM to CPS if anything occurs in the future. He said when there is an existing custody order, the judges hands are kind of tied, but that CPS/DFS can usually get in and do things in a quicker manner. So that was good to know.
He also asked what DH would like to see happen. DH said he would like to see BM in some sort of treatment program.
The GAL really didn't give us any indication of what he thought or felt. Those guys are usually pretty neutral and hard to read, IMO.
Anyway, per our attorney's advice, DH called BM and spoke with her about entering a program. The tentative plan was for our attorney and her attorney to talk, and then have BM agree to enter some sort of out-patient program, maybe one the GAL can refer. Anyway, DH was confident that BM would agree to anything.
WRONG. She told him absolutely not. She said that she is "fine now" because she is on a new medication for depression. She said she does not have a problem with drinking anymore because she only drank because she was depressed, and now that she is not depressed anymore, she's fine.
OMG. Actually, I had pretty much predicted that dead on. I told DH "I will bet you $$$ she doesn't think she needs any kind of treatment."
The thing is--she has had problems with alcohol ever sicne DH has known her---for going on 10 years. In the 5 years I'VE been around, I've seen her drinking get worse, and worse. I've seen her get fired from two jobs, one of which was at her AUNT'S company, and her AUNT had to fire her---because she was hungover all the time and calling in sick. I've had her call me bawling from a bar because she and her DH were fighting, or because she didn't want to have her baby or whatever. She got 1 DWI 3 years ago and blew SO HIGH on the breathalyzer that as part of her sentence, she had to go to a lock-down weekend at a hotel and spend 48 hrs in alcohol awareness classes. I've seen her show up at DH's house (before we were married) drunk in the middle of the night---and pound on the window, on at least 4-5 occasions. On and on and on. I NEVER would have thought she would drink while pregnant---yet she did that the whole time she was PG with her daughter. I NEVER thought she would attempt to drive with her son while drunk---yet she did that.
But now she is "all better."
The annoying thing is--my DH seems to kind of believe her.
honestly--it's not that I WANT her to be an alcoholic or be sick. For SS's sake, it is the best thing if she gets her life under control. I just don't believe that an alcoholic can cure everything with a pill.
So...we press on in court and hope and pray the GAL and judge recognize the problem here.