Tired today....

mom2emallApril 15, 2009

I do not know what happend but the last few days has been an absolute struggle with the kids!! I don't know if they all decided to just go crazy...or if that my dh has had a week off work has just made them loose routine. But argh!

Lets start with yesterday.

SS was eating dinner. I made dinner and my bioson right away looked at it and began complaining. I told him I did not want to hear complaints...this was dinner and tonight he was eating it all (I gave him a small amount). He made faces and ate it. SS tried also complaining about the food and was told the same thing. He cried. He spent 15 minutes going potty. Then he was sent right back to the plate. Then I watched him stick his fingers in his mouth and throw up onto his plate!!! So DH of course threw his dinner away and told ss no dessert that night. Fine, kid can't eat it with puke on it. Though I was tempted to give him a new plate with another helping....

Middle sd was doing homework FOREVER as usual. We had an awards assembly to go to for older sd and warned middle sd that she is old enough to stay home alone and miss the awards assembly if her homework is not done by the time we need to leave. Well we got ready to leave and it was not done. She started the tears. DH told her to go put her shoes on so we could go. I took him into the other room and reminded him of what we already agreed on earlier and told him that if he did not stick to that it was showing her that tears win. So he reluctantly made her stay home.

So we go to the assembly and dh is texting back and forth with middle sd for half of it "to make sure she is alright". He turned the punishment into fun for her...way to go!

We get home and all get ready to make ice cream sundaes and I watch my dh let ss have some cool whip. WTF??? I look at dh and said "remember dinner???" Then he tells ss no dessert and I am the bad guy of course!

Today DS wants to go outside with his friends (no school today). I tell him sure, just go hang up the two outfits that are on his bed. He goes upstairs and comes down a minute later. I ask if the clothes were hung up and he said yes. I asked if I went to check would they be hung up correctly. He then says "nobody told me to hang them up!" Again I am thinking WTF??? So I send him back upstairs. He comes down again and says they are hung up. I walk back up with him and one outfit is on his closet floor, one pair of pants hung correctly, and the other shirt is hanging by the sleeve off his pants that he hung up. I told him that is not acceptable and he is not playing outside AT ALL today since he can not do something I asked him TWICE to do.

For the next few minutes he proceeds to tell me it is not his fault because nobody showed him how to hang up clothes. So I showed him and told him "now you know". Since the "nobody showed me" excuse seems to be used a lot by him lately I proceeded to "show" him how to put his shoes away and his coat away, etc. And he finally admitted to not really trying to hang up his clothes. He is still not allowed outside. And now he is finally at the point where he realizes he was wrong and is not arguing about it anymore.

But I am just really tired of the last few days!!! Someone send me a bottle...LOL!

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Wow!!! What did you make for dinner???

I'm having the same sort of week. DD is off for two weeks for spring break, coming to work with me and driving me crazy. She just threw a giant fit about her math homework "I know I'm stupid" and the ever-present "no one told me how to do it".

I finally fake-called DH and told him to come pick her up. She screamed a few times, then put herself down for a nap!! It's been an hour... pure bliss.

I feel for you. Sounds like you're getting to wear the "bad guy" hat a lot. Do you and DH ever trade off on that? I will purposefully let him be the "good guy" so dd doesn't always attribute "no" with him... esp. since he's the more strict parent.. and the stepparent.

    Bookmark   April 15, 2009 at 4:18PM
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Lately my dh has been the good guy a lot. He just can not stand to see his kiddies get consequences. Driving me nuts! WE went through this in the beginning of our marriage...but then it was fine. Lately he has been being a pushover again till I step in. And I hate being the wicked one. But the kids have to know that even when daddy is home they need to behave.

I almost lost it when I saw ss make himself puke last night. All the other things the kids did were definately minor compared to that!!

    Bookmark   April 15, 2009 at 4:22PM
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I think I would have lost it. You handled it well.

Again, I must ask....

What did you make for dinner??????

    Bookmark   April 15, 2009 at 4:42PM
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I made eggplant parmesan. Very tasty actually....

    Bookmark   April 15, 2009 at 5:34PM
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OK, I would have lost it too, with the fingers/puking thing. Totally over the top.
However...... eggplant parm? I love it, but I don't think your average kid would. Even the name of it sounds gross :)

    Bookmark   April 15, 2009 at 8:34PM
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May I join in the vent? It must be something in the air this week, but I am really biting my tongue at stuff going on in our home too. At least you guys have young SK's and BK's, but mine is 21. Last week SD asked DH if she could have her relative's soon-to-be homeless older dog. He didn't discuss it w/me and told her yes. He also gave her rules and made her understand that the animal is entirely her responsibility. So, I came home from work to find a second dog in the house - grrrrr. Older SD just moved out in Feb. and took her menagerie with her. It was nice not having all the pet smells.

Well, it's been one week w/Fido here and he's lifted his leg in the house twice that we discovered and he left a steamer on my brand new office area rug. SD really doesn't seem very interested in her new pal anymore. Fido still doesn't have a dog dish like she said she'd get (he's using our dinnerware), and he seriously needs to see the vet because he hasn't been in several years, his breath is horrible and smells like A$$ - probably rotten teeth and his nails are very long. We told her that Fido gets locked in her room if nobody is home because we don't want the house used as a toilet more than it has already. This dog has spent many an hour alone in that room. It's not right. She has also not been doing her one and only chore nor picking up after herself. It's DH's fault because he's enabling this, but...thanks for listening.

    Bookmark   April 15, 2009 at 11:31PM
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I reckon it's men. All men.

My DH used to do the same thing all the time, and even though he is doing a lot better, it still happens sometimes. Whenever discipline comes into it he is reluctant. It has probably been the biggest issue we've had to overcome in our relationship (which is pretty good, all things considering). But yes, it used to drive me up the wall!!!

Perfect example; a while ago we had dinner and SD10 was eating like a little feral. DH knew that he had to say something and here it comes: "SD10 can you please eat with a knife and fork, you know Liesbeth doesn't like it when you don't.."
Yep, undermining me and siding himself with the kids, thanks hey!

We've had a few arguments over it and I explained to DH that he was setting us up for disaster if we didn't show a united front. And when he makes me the bad guy then he actually yeopardises the relationship I have with his kids. After all, they are HIS kids, not mine, and we don't have that natural bond of unconditional love. The skids might end up disliking me one day, but he IS their dad and they do love him unconditionally, so show some balls and don't use me for blame.

He finally gets it now, and he is doing a lot better.

Does your DH say that you worry too much and that you can't be onto EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME?
That used to be DH's favorite argument back. That I was too fussy and picking on everything. So one weekend I made a list of the things which I thought we needed to discipline the kids on. There were 5 things on the list (like eating with your mouth closed or putting away toys), and yes we might need to say something about one of these items several times, but it still all revolves around 5 issues. Not EVERYTHING all the time.

I think all women can relate to this one!!

    Bookmark   April 16, 2009 at 4:34AM
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Can i put my 2 cents in as well that i'm tired...but i'm so tired of last week!!!
Wow, i lost my temper with my husband last week. He is soooo forgetful eh? well..he double booked an event with me and sd...and guess what i lost it last week and told him to wake up! but i told him not to change his plans with his daughter now because if he did, i would look like the smuck!!!! so i cancelled the butcher order and rearranged my schedual. told my dh , thanks for F'n my holiday up, go have a nice lunch and eat crappy food with your daugther because i'm having a lovely homecooked meal over a friend house for the holiday. Well....i found out that my sd was playing her dad and basically doing it on purpse to pit me against her by making my dh 'choose'. So he got into a fight with her on thursday and she said one line that totally lite the light bulb in his head! He realized what she was doing and he put her in her place and said to stay home!
But that is between them. My issue is with him. I just dont understand how he can forget. ANd other times, he uses me as an excuse to his daughter for him to get out of something. That just made me boil over. Cause you know what, his actions will make his daughter hate me as the evil stepmother. And i do alot! only recently i've stepped aside and stopped giving because i just feel used.
I just wish men were not like men are.....does anyone know what i mean?
He never takes responsibility for cooking for them, deciding on outtings..its all onmy shoulders. And who gets to decorate for their bdays? me! well guess what...ss bday is around the corner....he better have presents for him...cause i'm not shopping or decorating.

    Bookmark   April 21, 2009 at 3:25PM
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