My heart just isnt in it.....

sistersunnieFebruary 20, 2006

My husband has gotten much sicker and is now in an assisted living facility. My heart just isnt it trashing and I miss it. I could prob use the therapy it would bring right now but I cant seem to dredge up the energy to get started.

Any motivational advice out there?

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I'm sorry to hear your husband isn't doing well. Sending a prayer for both of you. I say you need to hit a big flea market, garage sales,(if yours have started up) or even some resale shops. Get those juices flowing. I know when I get a really good deal, I'm so excited and want to go and find more!!! Hope you do get your energy started!!!

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 6:58PM
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Sounds like a case of depression/opperssion from the stress/uncertainty of the added responsibilities. Do you have a pastor to council with?

Vangy plays in the dirt

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 7:01PM
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Am so sorry to hear about your DH. I agree with Cheri...Now bundle up, get out there find some good stuff and post pictures for us.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 7:43PM
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First, you worry, and then maybe without even realizing it, depression sets in and saps your energy. Worrying is natural. Long term depression is a sickness.
I mentioned on another forum about my husband's sickness. I'll not go into all the dreary details,the doctor's wanted me to remove life support. He was away from home for 6 months, struggling to survive, he had many operations, in two different hospitals, then in rehabiltaion. The doctors' told both of us that he would never walk again. He did survive and he is walking and even has a job. He is certainly proof that miracles still happen.
In the Spring of 2003, when he was learning to walk again, my only sister had a seizure and the doctors discovered that she had a brain tumor,grade 4, the worse kind, they operated, she had radiation, 2 more tumors grew, the doctor told us that she was too weak for another operation...
She was the nicest person I've ever known. She was my best friend. I would visit her and we didn't talk of sickness, I spoke as if everything was normal...One day when I returned home,sad, looking out the window, I saw the backyard that had long been neglected, I went out and got the handsaw and started cutting down little pine trees, pulling out the overgrowth...all the time thinking of how much I was going to miss her...My frustration got the yard looking nice...on my visits with her, I would tell her of my progress in the yard...she enjoyed hearing about it...
She knew that I loved to work in the yard/garden. something that you enjoy...even if you have to force yourself at first.

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 2:34AM
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Sistersunnie, there should be family support groups at the assisted living facility where your husband lives. Stop at the reception desk and ask to speak with the case manager or social worker about joining. It's natural for you to lose motivation due to all the changes and stresses in your life. Talking with others experiencing the same thing may help you put things in perspective and make you feel a little better.

Another thing to consider is offering to teach a class at the facility. You have an enormous wealth of talent to share. The people who live there would love to watch and listen to you as you guide them through a trash-to-treasure project. Maybe you could help them make things to sell at the annual holiday sale. Speak with the activity director, I'm sure he/she would be delighted to put you on their calendar of events.

The hardest part is getting started, whether it's attending the support group or planning a craft class. Force yourself to make the first step. I'll bet you feel world's better afterwards.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.


    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 6:08AM
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I don't have much advice except to take care of yourself. One thing I was going to suggest Dianna mentioned. Another thing my cousin did was journal...lots and lots of journaling. You could make notes about things you would like to do, things you enjoyed doing, draw sketches of things yo might do sometime later when your not feeling so down.
I'm pretty new at this board but I want to send Hugs your way!

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 3:24AM
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Yes take care of yourself. You are probably exhausted. The treasures will be there when you are ready.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2006 at 2:08PM
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Sistersunnie, wish you were closer to me and I'd take you to some of my "haunts". I bet going to some different places and meeting some new people would at least take your mind off of what's going on in your life - for a little while, I hope.

Hang in there, girl!

    Bookmark   February 28, 2006 at 2:12PM
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I don't have any useful ideas, but I wanted to send a hug! Life creates stress...some stressors create depression..blessings to you as you get your "go" back into gear!

    Bookmark   February 28, 2006 at 5:54PM
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Hey Sistersunnie,
Sorry to hear about your hubby. Everyone is right,depression can set in without you veen realizing it.I am up for a liver transplant shortly(hopefully) and it is depressing,but I just push myself to keep busy.
Prayers to you . Pat H.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2006 at 11:38PM
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In the midst of all the failing health, headaches and heartaches our oldest daughter is fullfilling her dreams. We are so very proud of her and excited for her. Despite or because of all the challenges of an ill parent she has grown into a wonderful, compassionate and mature young woman and has accepted her appointment to the United States Naval Academy. She is inducted into the Class of 2010 in June!

Counting our blessings in the thick of everything! ANCHORS AWAY OUR GIRL!

    Bookmark   March 30, 2006 at 6:05PM
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I'm working on finishing up our family room (formerly a two car garage) just my mother and I. Talk about design on a dime, with the medical expenses, have to do this economical! Anyway went out to my husband's out building yesterday and FOUND all I needed to add new legs to the kid's sofa, and all I need to trim out the room! Plus looks like so really neat potentials out there as well.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2006 at 10:03AM
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Awww...sounds great to hear that you have some good news to share, Sunnie. Post us some photos when you get a chance.

Congratulations to your DD. She sounds like a wonderful young woman. I know you are proud of her!

    Bookmark   April 6, 2006 at 6:38PM
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Sistersunnie, it sounds like you are coming out of the winter glues. Congratulations on your daughter's appointment. Get out and take evening rides (perhaps on the way home from visiting your DH in his new home) the smell the spring air and shop the trash! Then the next day when you visit you'll have something to share! Best wishes, Junkgirl

    Bookmark   April 6, 2006 at 9:26PM
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Sistersunnie, saw this old post and was just wondering how things are going with you!?

Catch us up, if you have the time.


    Bookmark   June 28, 2006 at 10:51AM
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Hey thanks for checking in. I left my oldest daughter in Annapolis two days ago. She's off on her Navy adventure and excited! While I am also, I miss the dickens outta her.... But My youngest and I have a full summer planned and this fall I want to take a few days vacation and start on some t to t projects that have accumulated in the outbuilding. My nest is rather empty now with husband and daughter gone. I am feeling less depressed and overwhelmed. Actually I am doing okay right now. I appreciate everyone's concern. Thanks!

    Bookmark   June 30, 2006 at 9:27AM
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my apoligies.
I thought I had commented on this before but probably did not because of my own "issues".
but best wishes and wow annapolis thats the big leagues. as a former navy little leager all the respect to those who make it through that.
depression is a weird thing and can effect the folks that we thought could hold up to anything .
I deal with seizures pretty regulary and probably now have true depression life is overwhelming sometimes ,heck I had laugh lines before age 30. was the last on the list for this. wish you the best words of encourgement are helpfull.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2006 at 2:42PM
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