Weird/What do you think?

wonderinginchicagoApril 14, 2011

My husband got a 1 am phone call on his cell phone, telling him he 'was going to go to hell for what he's done'. My husband hung up and went back to sleep. The number was blocked. He thought it was either his ex or his daughter. He has cut off all contact with them due to all the false accusations and the animosity. They also moved 1,000 miles away making contact difficult in these circumstances.

What are they talking about? What is going on here? What does she want/expect? Any ideas/suggestions to get her to move on and accept responsiblity for her own life? She's been living with a guy for 7 years and she married him last fall.

The current situation:

We have been in almost constant litigation for the past 8 years, she has gotten generous child support awards. She has been trying to put my husband (her ex) in prison for the past 8 years, ever since he got involved with me.

The oldest child turned 18 in January, so the child support got knocked down. They were trying to claim that she was still in school, technically she was, but she was failing and not attending. The school has finally kicked her out for lack of attendance.

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Are you sure it was not just a wrong number? He would recognize his ex or daughter's voices, right? Why out of the blue call up and make a statement now if it were them? Something new other than the change in support occuring?

Fortunately for your DH the ground really won't open up and send him straight to %ell just because somebody called him up and said so.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 4:39PM
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Well anything is possible. He is as sure as he could be that it was either his ex or daughter. They block the number to try and get him to pick up, because when he sees it is them he doesn't pick up any more. As a matter of fact, he doesn't pick up blocked numbers any more either. They have not tried to contact him very much though and never by any other method than the phone.

No he is a good guy, very sad about the kids, but I have gotten to a place of acceptance - can't control other people. Even though they have done some horrible stuff, I feel kind of bad for them, as this is not the behavior of happy people. I wish I could do something to help.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 4:46PM
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It sounds to me that if it IS them, they are still hung up on everything and just trying to cause drama any way they can. Even if it is out of the blue, doesn't mean it's not just eating at them all the time.

But, if he hasn't done anything wrong then it doesn't matter what they do. The real sad thing is that they are letting it consume their lives. Misery loves company. They are unhappy so they just want to try and stir things up for you and your husband. Yeah, kind of weird and also kind of sad. (for them)

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 5:03PM
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Honestly I think phone calls at 1AM are usually made under the influence. Either drugs or pills or alcohol. No one sober does that.

My SO's ex used to call under the influence and it was as bizarre as it could be, we figured out she did not know who she was calling, just random mumble or singing. So I'd think that what happened, maybe SD was partying and got drunk and mad at daddy or mom had a few.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 5:38PM
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I agree with everyone else on everything that has been said... They aren't really a part of his life and the support was lowered eventually support will stop and they can be out of your lives forever. I would change phone #s and go unlisted. Some people don't like the hassle of changing #s or being unlisted but to be completely cut off from possible harassment to me it's worth it.

Totally different but I had a # for a long time and ended up having an ex that would randomly call and text long after we were over and I was already married and moved on - I just finally changed my # to get it to stop and I haven't been bothered since -- I was harassed for years after speaking to this person and had no connection to him whatsoever just a miserable drunk a$$.. So to me it was worth it. I have a friend that is harassed the same way and she refuses to change her # bc she has had it for so many years but in the end I tell her stop
Complaining about the late night calls if you refuse to change your #... nothing towards you I'm just sharing a story.

If you have no relationship with them and your husband has decided to write them off then make it official no means for contact. Nothing says that you legally have to tell your children where you are after they are 18... Just sayin

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 9:57PM
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I'd be glad they kept it short & hung up.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 10:12PM
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Oh yeah, and maybe turn off the ringer at bedtime & turn it back on in the morning. I hate being woken up in the middle of the night & not being able to get back to sleep. A phone call like that, them or not, is disturbing enough to keep me up.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 10:38PM
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And when someone calls me in the middle of the night -- there better be blood or a toe tag.. That's all I'm sayin

    Bookmark   April 14, 2011 at 10:57PM
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"Honestly I think phone calls at 1AM are usually made under the influence. Either drugs or pills or alcohol. No one sober does that. " I agree.

I don't think you can "make" anyone move on and accept responsibility for their own life, unfortunately. You can just avoid them and hope they get bored with tormenting you.

    Bookmark   April 15, 2011 at 8:27AM
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Well thanks, this helps. It is sad. I wish I could do something to get them to move on. I feel like we are the big losers here, we lost the kids, no amount of money can compensate for that.

We did get an unlisted number, it was his cell phone. I turn my cell phone off every night, but he wasn't, now he is. He was afraid it was my parents who are bed-ridden - another long story. I told him to forget it, turn the phone off, there is nothing I could do for my parents at 1 am (they live an 1.5 hours away), they would have to call 911. He is now turning off the phone. A little stubborn, that man. It was stupid, but disturbing and it did disrupt my sleep.

And we are talking about re-locating when the child support case is closed. Depends on the job situation though.

Thanks for your insight.

    Bookmark   April 16, 2011 at 2:19AM
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