Am I a hypocrite?
So you'll remember I broke up with my BF because we argued about his son's behavior. Also, he has always worked under the table and has never paid taxes and now owes the IRS $70,000.
So anyway, I was talking to my best friend this past weekend. I told her that I have joined a dating website. I told her that I was basically looking for a man that made more than $50,000 a year, had the same political and religious views as myself, and preferred a man that did not have kids or at least if he did that the kids were grown and out the house.
Mind you, she was the one who knows about exBF and all the issues we had and why I broke up with him. Well, she told me that I was wrong for wanting a guy just for his money.
I told her that was not the case. I want a man with a good job, but that wasn't the ONLY thing I wanted in a potential mate. I did not like exBF's financial situation. Because he worked under the table, his income was sporadic and unreliable. I don't want to deal with that uncertainty. I realize no one is guaranteed a job and anyone can get laid off, but at least then you have unemployment, this guy had no kind of safety net of any kind.
She said that I need to be careful of men that join an online dating site, that they all want just one thing.
I was like -Hello, that's ALL men, not just the ones on dating websites, LOL.
She said that what they put on their profile is nothing but lies. I told her - well, I'M on the dating website - do you think I'm lying about what I put on my profile?
She kept saying that I just wanted a man for his money and I that will wind up unhappy. I tried to explain to her that I want the total package, a man that I have a lot in common with and that is finically secure. It was like she couldn't hear me.
Then she said that I was a hypocrite because I don't want to date a man that has kids. She said I have kids and whomever I date will have to accept my kids, and that it was wrong of me to not want a man that has kids.
I don't understand why people say this is being a hypocrite. So since I have kids I have to date a guy that has kids? I realize at this stage in life that most folks will have kids, so I'm not trying to be unrealistic, however at the same time if I can find a guy that I get along with and for whatever reason does not have kids is that so wrong?
Also, I look at how stressed my 13 year old is when she comes back from a visit at her dads. Her dad is dating a girl that has two kids, 8 and 9 years old, and they get on her nerves. I think of what myfampg said - that she did not want to her daughter to have to deal with step siblings with both parents and I agree.
So basically I'm venting a bit, but also wanted to see what others thought. Do you think it is wrong to want a man who doesn't have kids? Am I a hypocrite?