Caught in the middle it seems?
This is my first time posting here, didnt know where else to turn and hoping some people here can give me some advice.
I have been dating a man for a year and he has an 8 year old daughter. He does not have custody of her but has full rights to see her anytime. She comes over once a week for a few hours after school and usually on the weekends either for a day or to sleep over.
Now here is the issue....
She wont sleep on her own. She never has been made to sleep in her own bed, not here at her dads or at her moms either. So now enter me into the picture and call me crazy but i just dont see it right that an 8 year old should be sleeping with her father, or sleeping in the same bed as us!!
Last night I finally said enough is enough. She came to bed with us to watch a movie, but I had spoken to my boyfriend earlier and we agreed that she could watch the movie but then sleep in her own bed. So after the movie was over and he told her she had to go in her bed she threw a fit, crying...the whole bit. They were in the bathroom brushing their teeth and i over heard the whole conversation. Basically he told her...
"You need to sleep in your bed, Ill sleep with you there, but if you go back into daddys bed my girlfriend will bed really mad and go sleep on the couch and that will cause daddy problems"
When I heard this I was fuming....
So what does he do he lets her walk back into our bedroom...and thats when I said "I cant sleep in a bed with all these people!"
So she went to her room when she heard me say that...and he called me a cry baby and said I made the situation worse and I should have helped me when I knew he was having problems getting her to bed.
I told him its not my place to tell her what to do, but I dont see how its fare that I should have to go sleep on the couch just so she gets her way and is happy. Its not my fault that he and her mother never enforced proper sleeping rules. I am sooo mad about this.
I just dont know what to do...I feel caught in the middle of this whole situation.
Was I right to stand up and say "No shes not sleeping in here?"
She was gonna let her come crawl back into bed just to stop her crying...and I dont see how this possibly could fix the problem?!
Or maybe I should just sleep on the couch from now on when she comes over?
Help!!! Im so frustrated!!