Lazy almost 18 yr old

CocoLuApril 4, 2012

How do you get an almost adult girl motivated to do anything? This girl refuses to go to school (she isn't my daughter but a family member) her father treats her like a 7 year old and she acts like one, she is very innocent (which is good) sleeps in till 1-3 daily, refuses to go outside, she rationalizes this by saying, "her mom doesn't want her to go outside." mother lives in another state. She doesn't lift a finger and leaves a huge mess, dad doesn't ask her to do a thing. Dad comes home about 5:30 and daughter asks.. "dad can you take me to get something to eat." Mcdonalds or other fast food. Everything is handed to her, her mom sends her a 200.00 monthly chec to blow on crap she doesn't need and she doesn't do a thing to earn it. She is also very helpless and child like. For instance, I took my dogs over, and her first reaction when the smaller dog passed by her was.. "The dog is gonna eat my orange." Sorry but that is something a child would say not an almost adult. She has no desire to interact with other kids and has this dark obsession with the "Grim Reaper.: I have never seen a situation this severe. It isn't my kid but I worry because she has a good heart and doesn't get into trouble.. but I fear her dad is ruining her and not helping her any. It isn't my place and I say nothing to them just curious if anybody else has this problem. I personally think she needs therapy because something not normal is going on.

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justmetoo

before therapy, my first suggestion would be for her to have a good physical (complete with total labs) and a mental developmental evaluation. Whether because the young lady has been babied all her life and/or she perhaps runs delayed in development, from what you've posted it does not sound as if the girl functions at the level of her age. If you're on friendly terms with the father you might try talking to him out of pure concern.

It's perhaps a 'touchy' subject, but don't go at it like 'your daughter is lazy, messy and helpless' but more along the lines of 'I'm concerned she does not seem to be as developed and/or mature as some other young ladies I know'...you don't want the father to automatically become defensive or to jump to the conclusion that you don't like the girl ect.

    Bookmark   April 4, 2012 at 3:47PM
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colleenoz

I'd be worried about how the girl is going to cope when Dad is no longer around, it will happen one day. Dad is setting her up for a crash.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2012 at 12:21AM
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