Feeling very invalidated
I cannot press charges.
Well--I CAN--but it just means that I will get a ticket, too.
I went into the station last night to press charges and had a long talk with one of the officers who was on duty that night.
He was VERY compassionate and took a long time to explain the facts to me. Basically, he said that they DID believe me, and that the REASON they did not issue any sort of report about the assault was because BM was claiming I hit her three times over the head with my cell phone. YES, that's right, with the cell phone that I DROPPED as I was running from her, and that SHE threw and broke. The cell phone that my poor SS went and FOUND for me later on--the one that he kept apologizing to me about how he was so sorry his mom broke it, and how he wanted to buy me a new one for my birthday. :(
So--not only is BM a drunk and a bad mother and a violent person---but she is also a LIAR. Why am I surprised?
Note to self--next time you are assaulted, make sure it is in a public place with plenty of witnesses.
One thing that really didn't help my case was the fact that I LET her in the house and admitted to that. If I had called the cops right off the bat and she'd assaulted me then and there, it may have been a different story. But she told them (truthfully) that I did let her in, and we were talking and she made it seem like it was more of a fight than anything else. :( I hurt my "case" by letting her into the house...it really sucks because the REASON I did not call the police intiially was to AVOID a SCENE. Lesson learned.
The officer was very kind and said they truly did believe me. But that ANYTIME there is anything domestic with no witnesses, and both parties are saying they were assaulted, it is no longer assault but is "fighting." He said if they had reported my claim, they would have to report hers, as well, and we BOTH would have been ticketed. He said they honestly were trying to help ME by not doing that. He assured me that I was the best thing SS had going for him that night. He said all the cops were saying how "awesome" I was, and that SS was fortunate to have had me protecting him. He said the most important thing is that I did not allow her to drive with him.
He said I COULD press charges, but then they would have to notify BM and because of HER complaint against me, however bogus, they'd have to ticket both of us and it would go before a judge. Honestly--I COULD do that and let the facts show for themselves: BM was drunk, trying to drive with a child, I was trying to protect him, etc. BUT--it sounds like a HUGE hassle.
I AM angry that this can happen. I was ASSAULTED on my own property and because BM LIED, there's not much I can do about it.
Later on, when I got home, DH called the station and talked to the officer, as well--he was pretty angry and wanted an explanation firsthand. Again, the officer was super duper nice---explained that they really were trying to look out for me and not cause any problems for me. He said they KNEW BM was at fault and lying, and that she was drunk and that's WHY they left HER son in MY care--they knew who was the responsible, loving adult.
He also said that she sat at the station for an hour and a half waiting for a ride, and swore at him the whole time. He said he kind of hopes she comes back and violates the RO--because he would love nothing more than to arrest her with the state of MO backing him up. :)
I don't know. I am angry that the law works this way. Just because I had no WITNESSES, aside from a 7 year old, I can be ASSAULTED on my own property while trying to protect my SS from his drunk MOTHER---and there's really nothing to be done about it.
BUT--I feel good knowing the police thought I did the right thing, and it was nice hearing that they felt I protected SS well. AND I have gotten my temp. order and Iwill do WHATEVER I have to to get the full year-long order.
It's ironic---my bruise is actually worse today, but it doesn't hurt at all anymore.
I am just now very anxious for this hearing in 2 weeks so we can get SS protected, get me and my DD protected and hopefully force BM into some kind of treatment program.
Here's another pic of today.