Thoughts about court

lovehadleyApril 18, 2009

DH & I have our hearing at the end of this coming week. We have an appt. with DH's attorney on Tuesday, so hopefully we will have a better idea of what might happen after that.

I'm a little nervous in the meantime, though!

Does anyone with any court experience have an inkling of what a judge (in this situation) might say/do?

I got the ex parte order and this hearing is for my full order. I really don't think I will have an issue getting it.

The other step (and the more tricky one) at this proceeding is for DH to get the order of protection for his son. He did NOT get the ex parte order like I did, he simply got the hearing date which means the judge wants to hear more evidence.

So--I doubt DH will get the full order. As much as I hate to say it, I don't think the courts are going to give temp. custody to DH YET. I think BM has not "screwed up" enough yet. Yes, what she did was terrible, but the courts see this all the time AND much worse. :(

My guess is that the courts will order BM into some sort of counseling or treatment program, and re-evaluate in 30 days?

I know it is silly to speculate, especially before we even meet with the attorney---but it is driving me crazy in the meantime.

Any thoughts?

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Sadly, I think you are correct. You may be lucky if the court even orders BM into any program if all you can show is ONE incident. If you have any documentation of prior events, even if it's in a journal or phone records, etc. to show she has a problem with alcohol.. that would help. If you present a journal as evidence, just know that EVERYTHING in the journal becomes available for her to read, not just the parts you want the court to hear.

I agree, the courts see worse but at least your DH is pursuing this now so in the future, if there are other incidents, the court will be on notice that your DH is telling them there's a problem and with each new incident, it gives your DH more credibility. In the beginning, the courts usually are reluctant to take sides or make orders against one parent unless there is clear & convincing evidence that the parent is a danger to or neglectful of the child. This is a step that still needs to be taken because if further down the road, BM does something worse (or just as bad), the court won't know about the history because there will be no record of a history. This is square one and unless BM gets help, there WILL be more squares to follow. As to what the court will do? Nobody can answer that. It would be foolish to even speculate about what the court might do... that is just setting yourself up for disappointment and more stress.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2009 at 10:46AM
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The good thing is--when they were in court over the school district issue last summer/fall, DH kept telling the GAL that BM has a drinking problem. Aside from a DWI, there was no other hard evidence. BUT---the GAL did say "if she gets another DWI or screws up in any other way regarding alcohol, EVERYTHING will be re-evaluated." And he did put note of that in the file.

Well, here we are 5 months later and we have some actual proof of what we've been saying all along.

BM's mom has been communicating with DH about SS---just b/c DH is really trying to limit his contact with BM at this point. Anyway, her mom told him that CPS made a visit to her home last week to check on SS AND her baby! Neither DH nor I reported her to CPS, so I am *assuming* that it has something to do with either the police report or the order of protection DH attempted to get.

So it looks like it is, at least, being taken more seriously than it has in the past.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2009 at 11:05AM
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collect more evidence. even if there is no exact proof, but even like her phone calls drunk, what time she called, what did she say etc. every single thing. didn't she call drunk from a bar couple of times? although it might not be good enough, but it all adds up. good luck.

    Bookmark   April 19, 2009 at 11:34AM
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I agree with FD, try to get all the evidence that you can. And is there anyway you can contact the GAL? I don't know, I just don't see this ending well for SS. If biomom isn't proactively getting help, I only see it getting worse. What if she does drive drunk with him?

And also, I think you posted one time how your DH wanted you to watch SS on bio mom's time cause she was hungover? Was that you? Sorry, if I'm off base here, but you know what? I would watch him if it ever comes up again, because that is more evidence on your husbands side.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2009 at 2:18AM
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Good luck with all of this. And keep us posted on what happens.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2009 at 9:51AM
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"Anyway, her mom told him that CPS made a visit to her home last week to check on SS AND her baby! Neither DH nor I reported her to CPS, so I am *assuming* that it has something to do with either the police report or the order of protection DH attempted to get. "

I wouldnt assume anything. It could be someone else complained. I would never assume the right hand knows what the left hand is doing (courts and CPS), so please make certain DHs attorney knows that CPS was there. It may be that is confidential and the attorney can not get any more informaiton, but let him know.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2009 at 10:09AM
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agree with kkny, it could actually be SS school's employee who called CPS, or a neighbour. so make sure courts know about CPS visits.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2009 at 12:38PM
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