heat and no cosideration
I know it is not a big deal but sometimes one of those "not a big deal" issues get to people the most...I was so upset this morning. Probably out of proportion but here goes. sorry long....
I went to visit DD for a week in a meanwhile BF's DDs were visiting. When I came back he complained how hot he kept his house because of them. i asked why? his responce because they complain it is cold so i kept it hot. Now BF is not cheap, but he has this issue with heat.
Anyways BF is the kind of person who is never cold, we live in a cold state, and this winter is awful but he still is never cold. So he keeps house cold, one of the reasons is that he is never cold and he claims it is the only reason. well i don't think so, he hates paying for heat. that is the main reason.
OK, so here his DDs left and I am back from my trip and house is freezing, i mean freezing. Couple of times when i turn it up, he turns it down when i don't see. he keeps now electric heater in the bedroom so it makes bedrrom extremelly hot but the rest of the house is freezing, so i sweat in bed and then freeze to go the bathroom. one night when i went to the bathroom termostat showed 58 degrees. when i asked him "why he did that" he said because bedroom is hot, there is no need to have heat in the rest of the house. Mind you it is in 20s at nigth outside! i asked to not do that because it makes me cold to get up and go to the bathroom. he promised he won't keep it that low anymore. and promised he won't turn it down when i do not see. did he keep the promise? nope.
Anyways I felt like i am getting a cold for few days. i kept complaining about it. Yesterday i made it 65 degrees which is managable, still cold but i can handle it.
we go to bed with stupid heater i sweat like a pig, then i get up in the morning with a runny noise and cough, go to the bathroom it is freezing. you know the feeling of sweat and cold? i look at a termostat it is 63. he still managed to turn heat down so i didn't see it. Just 2 degrees but it does make a difference. i started crying and his reply is you can turn it up any time you want, i am not preventing you from turning it up! But i did turn it up, as soon as i don't see he turns it down. what is the point of me turning it up if he does it his way when i don't see.
we had a fight over it when he kept saying he will keep it warm in the house from now on, but he promised it before!!! i told him that why is keeping it warm for grown daughters but cannot keep it warm for me? how is it their warmth is more important? why at 26 DD cannot tolerate cold but i at 42 have to freeze? he morbidly afraid of offending DDs but it is OK to offend me. i kept asking him why is he turning it down, he says because he does not like it warm in the house and so i would not freeze he turns on elctric heater, which is btw noisy and makes me sweat.
my response is if he does not like his house hot why is he keeping it hot when kids are visiting? because they complain? well, do you not hear me complaining? how is my complaining less meaningful?
I felt that my needs are not considered while grown kids' needs are always a priority. G_forbid they get upset! I have a cold now, runny nose, tired and am terribly upset.
And now I am not planning on leaving him but i sure am hurt now. :(