New girlfriend, BM hates me
This is my first time posting. I feel like i have similar issues, however, im only a girlfriend. I am a single mother of a 13 year old girl and have met a wonderful divorced father of one 13 year old boy. He and the BM had been divorced for 7 years, but living in the same house as roomates when i met him. BM moved out shortly after I came into the picture. Now a year later, I live with him. His son comes to stay with us 4-5 days a week. The BM does everything she can to make sure things are very uncomfortable in the house. She calls me trash in front of her son, and says that he is allergic to me.
I understand she probably feels like i replaced her in some way, but that is not my problem. She still gets mail at our house, drives by our house EVERY DAY, texts, calls leaves nasty messages on my boyfriends phone etc... Im having a hard time dealing with her due to my boyfriend not confronting or dealing with issues when it comes to her. She has seen me once (she has never met me). When she did see me she said she was going to beat me up! Ive been living with her son for a year now and she has not made one attempt to know who I am. My boyfriend and his son are so scared to upset her. I am not allowed to drop the son off at BM's house or pick him up. Everything has to be on her time too! It is inconvenient for all of us.
When i came into the picture, she had no job, the house was a disaster and their son was a spoiled brat. Their son never said thank you once, the son told his father he is a bad dad due to him not buying him things he wants. He would cry and have temper tantrums and go outside and destroy things when he didnt get what he wanted. He still does these things but not as bad. I have been a single mother for 13 years and I am fair, but strict and have placed rules and guidance to my boyfriends son. I came from a step family situation, and my step mother practically raised me. I signed up for this, but in my mind i though things would be different. I just need some advice as to how i should handle things due to never being in this situation before.