Update from Ceph
Things have been pretty good around here, so I haven't been on GW very much. I creep around, reading up on what everyone's doing, but haven't needed to post much.
DD is six months old now and is fabulous! She's quirky and funny and cute as bug. DH is doing great with his first time as a "real" dad and I lovelovelove being her mom.
It's been a stressful spring - DH just got laid off and then his mom died. But we are doing OK; he gets a good severance package and MIL's death was not a surprise.
SS is a more complicated part of our equation and I need to have a ramble about it.
His mom is at the end of her rope with him - he's been really mouthy to her and acting out at school. She's ready to ship him off to a behavioral correction camp this summer.
We get some sass from him of course (he's 12, so it's par for the course), but nothing major. We only have him EOW, so part of the difference in behavior is that we don't have the day-to-day build up of tension. Another part is that we respond differently than BM and SF do (SF is incredible, btw; I have to hand it to him!), and he responds differently to us than he does to them.
SS and I had a real downturn in our relationship for awhile and weren't getting along well, but we are back on track now and getting along well. We both put in a lot of work, and have some ups and downs, but we're reconnecting.
Anyhow, we have SS tonight because his school counselor was coming over to talk to BM and SF about how they can work better with SS. (Recall that he has ADHD and bipolar disorder.) When he was dropped off, he told me right away that he had a bit of a rough day at school and got in trouble for being disruptive. This led to a really long and honest talk about what's going on with him and his relationship with his mom... Wow, he's in a rough spot. His mom has her mind set that he can't change for the better and isn't being at all supportive of any of his positive efforts. The poor kid is constantly on egg-shells and can do no right (this isn't just from him - she said the same thing to me this afternoon). The only attention he gets is negative, and that's only IF he's allowed out of his room. He said he wants her to acknowledge when he tries and/or is good (like we do) but that she got mad at him when he tried to tell her that, and will only do it sarcastically to mock him.
We're going to keep him for a good chunk of this week to try to give them a break from each other. We're going to try to give him a safe place to vent about his mom without criticizing or defending her, but being frank and honest about the reality of the situation. But we're at a total loss! We don't know what to do or how to help them, or if we even can.
To be honest, we don't really want to have him too much more. We enjoy the time we spend with him, but aren't overly interested in increasing it. We live in a small apartment condo and we don't all fit for more than a few days at a time. We like our quiet little life and aren't currently ready for the hubbub of a high-strung 12yo boy.
Now, that said, obviously we will do what's best for SS and would take him more if that's what we need to do...
I don't think I'm asking for advice... But I definitely need some support and maybe some guidance on how to help SS smooth things over with his mom.