Hello, I have joined this site to get either advice or reassuance. I am a 25 year old mother 2 with 1 stepdaughter who is 6. She is the oldest. My husband has had custody of her since she was 2. We have been living together since she was 3 and married last year.we have a 2yr old together and a 4 mo old. She was removed from the mothers care due to abuse and medical neglect. She does how ever see her mother on the weekends. 3 hours on sat and 3 hours on sun. Quick definition of her mother - she is a loser who lives ina 2 bedroom house with 3 other adults plus her toddler with one person sleeping on the floor in the living room. noone in the house has a bed. she had bed bugs for almost 6 months without treating her home. she is from one man to another and just lives in the complete opposite way we do. We have a steady stable home we focus on routin and structure. anywho to get to why i am on the verge of giving up. My SD has her own room , her own bed , her own tv , she has everything she wants. We go places and do lots of fun things with all of our kids. We do crafts and well pretty much everything a normal and sane mother does with her children. We eat dinner all together every night. I took all of my kids including my SD to the fair. I invited her mother and even went to pick up her other daughter because i thought my SD would enjoying being with her WHOLE family at the fair. as soon as her mother showed up she turned into this child i have never seen. Crying every 5 mintues , whining.. she wanted nothing to do with me or her sisters from our side. She refused to ride any rides with us. She was down right mean to us. I could not help but feel hurt and angry I BOUGHT YOUR TICKET - I BOUGHT YOUR ARMBAND TO RIDE THESE RIDES.. ME! NOT YOUR MOM.. so the next moning (actually today) i had a talk with her about i felt. I didnt like how she treated me or her sisters. I told her i understand she doesnt get to see her mom all week and missed her and wanted to be with her but thats no reason to be mean to us. Also asked her if she would rather live there and she said ya. She would give up her own room - her privacy - her bed - her sisters - her friends EVERYTHING to live with her mother and sleep on the floor... i know she is 6 and doesnt realise her mother is trash, yet... But what can i do to not get so upset. Im on the verge of giving up. I am her mother figure i just dont own that title. I do her homework with her , I read to her , I do everything (daddy works long hours) i just feel so unapreciated. Even my 2 year old told me thank you when we got in the car after the fair.. Another quick note - sometimes when she asks me for things i tell her to ask her mom to buy it "but mommy has no money" if i reply "i dont have any money either" she is quick to say "yes you do on your card" she accepts it from her mom but not us... i just dont know what to do/say/act... Im not going to "not discipline" like some of these other posts say. im the one with her all day long and i will not tolerate her doing as she pleases in my house. we have rules and she is to follow them just as my other children.