I'm a bit disgruntled with DH right now. Last week his DD (21) asked him if she could have a dog. It belonged to a relative of BM, and the relative's new apt. would not allow pets. This dog was getting bounced around to various homes, so he said "yes" and gave her rules. I came home from work and surprise to me, a dog. We already have a dog and I wouldn't have objected, but I wasn't consulted; hence, my semi-irritation. I didn't want to say anything because I would rather chose my battles and since I wouldn't have said no...
So, here we are last night about 10:30pm and DD asked if she could invite her entire BF's family over for Easter dinner. Thank goodness we didn't have enough food to feed that many people and DH said no. I could tell that if we had a full-size ham instead of our small one or additional meat to thaw, a lasagna or something else in the freezer, he would have told her ok without asking me first. I asked him if I heard DD correctly last night about inviting everyone and he confirmed it. I felt that I couldn't say, "you need to consult me before saying yes" because he had told her that there wasn't enough food and it would have been like I was picking a fight.
I don't believe that it occurs to him that he needs to discuss things with me that concern his DD's and our home. I think he sees them as two separate items. His kids, our home. Has anyone else experienced this situation? I obviously need to approach the subject with him at some point, but I know I also have to tread very lightly because he may feel that I am overstepping my bounds. I don't care what he does regarding his kids, but if I am involved then I should have some input.