Who's really to blame here?!!!
So, BM is supposed to pay $50 a week in support for "her babies". Since 2003, DH hasn't seen a dime. BM moved half way across the country and was uninvolved. No support, but then again, no issues because mom is too involved with herself. Now that DH remarried and SC have a new SM (me), BM has decided to claim her "parental rights". She wants a say in how we raise the kids, but still contributes no support either physical or monetary. Raising three teens is not cheap, especially the cost of field trips for school. So we told the kids (mine and his alike) that the OP would need to contribute half the cost for anything over $50 for them to go. We don't ask BM for anything, so we told SS to ask BM for her half of the cost of trip. BM tells SS, sure, I'll send it for you. That was three weeks ago and the $ is due tomorrow. Do you think BM could send a measly $40? Nope, not even a dime of a contribution toward it. After not even sending as much as a Christmas card for "her babies", she drops the ball...again!
Then at dinner last night, SS is in tears and is angry. When asked what was wrong SS says, "You can spend all kinds of money on landscaping but you can't come up with the money for me to go on the trip." WTF! I can't even garden now without being given a guilt trip because his mom bailed on him...again. He's mad as us, even though we have our half of the money, just waiting on mom...
No one expects SS's SF to help, but I, the SM, is regarded as uncaring because I expect BM to take responsibility for her own. When told he needed to tell BM how upset he is, he says he's not upset with her. Again, WTF! He refuses to see anything that BM does as being wrong...he always justifies her actions each time she disappoints him. What will it take to open his eyes? I don't want to hurt him, but I hate to see him hurting because his mom is a loser.
DH tells me that I shouldn't let it upset me because we can't change her. I don't want to change her, I just want to see the situation change! Grrrr!!!!!