BF son doesn't want to spend time
OK I read many posts in this forum and I have to say that in light of some of the things some adults write so many in this community look past the words and see the desperation to understand and be understood, in regards to children that are not of our "flesh"...excuse my poor word choice.
I met a man with a son- and he loves his son with the same intensity that I love my two children. His relationship with the boy, when I met him, was surface and strained.
My BF wants us to be a family and I know that he hopes that- me being me- and my girls- themselves, that his son will grow to love us,the ice will melt from his heart, and he will have his son's admiration and one big happy family. FYI: What he wanted, and did not achieve with his son's mother.
Problem: His son has started to say things like, "Dad and I got along great before "that lady" came along."
Not true, but being on the outside and not wanting to add to their issue with how that makes me feel- what do I do? Keep my mouth shut and let them work it out? Or do I ditch a really good person- whom I love dearly?
Who forgot to put the note in my divorce papers that absolutely do not date men with children? Or is this just a searly 14 year old boy - I hate my dad game?
I have no problem making a sacrifice here- I am not impressed with the kid, but I certainly understand that his father loves him. I would be heart broken if my BF did not like my children. It would be a no brainer to dump a man over that. If I leave I think that my BF will resent his son (although they will both get over it I am sure), but I want to be with this man badly enough to rise above my frustration. I guess I am asking this: How do I conduct myself so that I do not hurt the child and maybe even prevent more damage? Hey, is it too much to throw in the hope that he might come to like me one day? Is it too late? Advise me please :)