I'm a crazy BM (sometimes)

mom_of_2.5March 24, 2009

I was reading a post a SM wrote complaining about BM, and that they suspect BM has a mood disorder.

Not to take anything away from that situation, I'm sure it's horrible, it sounds very frustrating. I just couldn't help but notice my reflection in the complaint I read often of BM. I had to chuckle a little inside. I bet my kids' SM's say similar things about me. I have snapped at them a few times, I have denied the rights to my children from time to time, and reminded my two ex's that "I didn't make babies or bills with her, my business is with you, and she can butt out!" Sometimes, I'm sure, my mood at the time making me a bit irrational. I have allowed SM to transport kids when it is convenient for me, and denied her the very next weekend because she sprung it on DD at the last minute. It wouldn't have hurt anything to let her pick her up. That was just me making sure everyone knew I'm in charge!

Because this moment of clarity is not likely to extend beyond this post and I'm not likely to apologize to my own SM's...I will apologize to all you SM's here.

Us BM's can be irrational, inconsistent, and sometimes just plain B#thchy.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

LOL. I enjoyed your point of view and thank you so much for having the courage to share it!

DH spoke with BM tonight and she admitted that she denied me access to the softball schedule because she was talking with a secretary at the school and they got her confused with me. Although I make it clear at the school I am not SD's mother and I make it clear when on the phone who I am....they must have still got us confused and BM thought I was "impersonating" her to get info from the school. lol.

So now I can see why she was mad and denied me. Even if I don't agree with it. At this point in time I'm not allowed to know when the games/practices are....but I can take her to them. lol

    Bookmark   March 24, 2009 at 10:15PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

All I can say is we all can be moody, territorial, and let our emotions get the better of us. BM or SM.

    Bookmark   March 24, 2009 at 10:16PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Yep, all of my issues with DS's StepMom have been over 'territory' --

    Bookmark   March 25, 2009 at 9:44AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

A couple of weeks ago FSD10 sent an e-mail from BMs account soliciting donations for a school fundraiser, one of those sponsor-me-a-dollar-for-every-lap-I-run events. She doesn't give a deadline and says "respond anytime". I have always bought the Girl Scout cookies, given my support and encouragement, no problems.

Then FDH proposes to me and I accept. This news gets a frosty response from BM, and really positive, excited responses from FSD6 and FSD10.

In the meantime I write FSD10 with a lot of encouragement and telling her I would definitely sponsor her and asking what the fundraiser is for. I also make jokes that she should start practicing so she can get the big bucks. I immediately get an abrupt, unsigned e-mail back from BM: "FSD10 has already turned in her materials. Thank you for your willingness to participate."

Out of curiosity I navigate to the website for the school and see that the materials and monies are not actually due for another 9 DAYS!!! I am above it, so I send a polite e-mail apologizing for missing the deadline and better luck next time. Then BM writes back, apologizing all over herself, saying she was wrong, going on and on with her congratulations on the engagement, etc. I have been there before and it's a trap. Best to just smile and say nothing. You just can't win with some people.

    Bookmark   March 25, 2009 at 10:52AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
My husband hates my kids...should I leave him
My husband hates my kids, and they hate him back, which...
Trying to figure out how to be a good adult stepdaughter...
My mother died eight years ago, and my dad remarried...
Can I handle becoming a stepmom one day?
I just turned 36 earlier this month. My boyfriend and...
grown adult stepchildren
I married my husband 2 years ago, his wife had died...
To visit or not to visit
About three years ago, after many instances of being...
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™