Father is dying of cancer,stepmom says doesn't concern his kids!
Our father has been diagnosed with Melanoma cancer. We know currently it is in his liver. Our stepmother has put nothing but obstacles in front of us girls, her husbands children (there is 3 of us). It is evident that she wants his children to be out of his life during this troubling time.
1.) First night she slept in the waiting room away from our father, until the second day when his children arrived. She never left the room, and would ask not to be disturbed. She knew we were staying right across the street in the hospitaility house so that we could be closer to our father.
2) After his children arrived she went to the nurses station and requested "absoulutely No vistors". We know this because our fathers nurse told us that she went to go into our fathers room after she had seen a young lady walk in and realized it was his daughter. The nurse said she didn't have the heart to ask his younger daughter (32) to leave after she seen how well he responded to her being there.)
3) Our step-mother informed us "I put a block on your fathers phone - that way if people call, it's almost like he doesn't exist".
4) She has told us repeatdly over and over and over again like a broken record..."he only wants me and no one else."
5) He blew his nose and got a nosebleed, humidity was awful in the hospital. She said he would have never gotten a nosebleed if he didn't miss her. She said "I went in and talked with your dad and I said honey, you got a nose bleed because I left the room didn't you, and then he said yes" She further said, "I knew thats what it was. Before the reason was I (his oldest child-40) possible helped him out of bed to fast.
6) The evening of our fathers operation because of the colon cancer she ran to the surgical room when they announced my fathers name and slammed the door without inviting my sisters and I in the room. We could have lost our father in that surgical room...how could she be so cruel? She further tried to encourage us that it wasn't necessary to see our father after his surgery because he wouldn't know any of us...including her "and I'm even his wife." As we ignored her snide remarks we went up to see him anyways. All 3 of us stood there wispering and his wife our stepmother came in with her loud mouth "Honey, Honey wake up its your wife...say hi to the girls! He was loaded with anesthetics and had just arrived from a 3 1/2 hour surgery. He opened his mouth with tubes running down his nose and throat and struggled to say hi. She continued to be persistent by trying to wake him up as she was loud and rude not only to him but to the others staying in the hospital. I couldn't stand to see her do this to our father anymore so I had to leave the room.
7) As we sat in the waiting room our stepmother and her daughter (my father has no children at all with this woman) were in his room holding his hand and and feeding him ice chips.
8) We were never alone with our father and when we were she made sure that she had to speak over my sisters and I so that our father would focus only on her.
9) Our dad hasn't had anything to eat since Saturday (3/10) and on Wednesday (3/14) she mowed a cheeseburger and muffin in front of him.
On Wednesday 3/14) our Dad turned 70 years old. All of his children bought cards and brought them to him. When we knew he wanted to rest we left to go get some lunch and when we returned we noticed that our step-mothers other daughter had bought dad a card and it was hanging up and displayed for him to view at all times. Our cards we gave to him was stuffed all underneath mounds of papers and magazines.
When we asked if anyone had called his only brother in fla. she informed us that yes she did. But later that evening we had been informed by our uncle that the last he heard was 2 days ago his brother has been rushed into the hospital and that nobody has called him about anything. When she learned that we had called our Uncle she was mad at us and said "it was her place to call our uncle" and that "we didn't have all the information" and our question is "why aren't you giving us all the information and that we had enough information to call him and put his mind at ease from not knowing anything"
Finally we decided to talk with hospital staff on our own and of course they had to seek our fathers permission to tell us anything. They were surprised when we informed them that we were his children. We all 3 encouraged them to ask his permission, we knew he would say yes. When the nurse returned with his files she had indicated to us that "our step mothers daughter was not very happy with our request, in fact she became quite angry. She was in the room holding our fathers hand while he slept.
Since I have been there she has tried to tell me what my dad does and does not like. She has flipped his favorite color from being baby blue to yellow, and has informed us that "your father will do whatever I tell him to do". She has encouraged him to "hit the morphine button to get a buzz" and talked about herself dying in front of him. Everything seems to be about her and how it effects her.
We went to talk with the nurse again and were informed that we had permission to be in the room when the doctor arrives to discuss things with our father. Our step-mother firmly told our middle sister, NO! She further said "this does not concern you girls, it only concerns me and your dad". "This is something that only concerns me and him, you are not included! Our middle sister then said, NO! This concerns everyone of us, and we want equal amount of time with our father!
A social worker arrived and said we have to come to a conclusion otherwise somebody was gonna loose. Our step-mother looked at each one of us girls and said Yeah, and it's not going to be me.
The sad thing is, there is no winners here, only losers...and my dad will lose out on not knowing just how much his 3 daughters love him. Some people would say, I can't believe you didn't knock her out. But I know being violent isn't going to make my dad better or keep him alive longer, it's just going to make him sicker and sadder. The nurses recognized how we were being treated and even crinkled their noses at the sound of my stepmothers voice. My younger sister and I chose to leave the hospital and return home (4-hour drive). We knew that the drama that our stepmother was creating was not healthy for our father. Our middle sister (37) lives close by and will continue to inform us as to whats going on. After surgery we now know that our father does NOT have colon cancer, he had 3 blockages and they were removed, however, our father has been diagnosed with having Melanoma cancer in his liver. My sister is at the hospital getting as much information so that she can inform the rest of his children of his condition. The doctor has told her that this cancer is going to spread fast.
I forgot to mention that our stepmother shot and killed her first husband, shes a professional at taking kids daddys away. First her own kids father, now our father. Why won't she share our father? Why won't she let us be with him too during this awful time. I have never imagined that someone could be so cruel! We had a whole hour put together during our 4 day stay in vistation with our father. This expeirience has been one of the most insane expieriences of our lives. The woman is dimented, phsycotic, outrageously jealous, crazy, selfish, inconsiderate, no heart and all kinds of other words I can't put on here.
This evening I wait to hear from our sister to inform us of his life expectancy. Can anyone imagine what our father and his children will go thru during his final time here. This woman will make sure that we will have a million and one obstacles to climb over just to get to see each other again. All I know is that Karma will pay a visit to our evil dimented step-mother! Karma will get her!!! Shame on her!