Oh ~ how sick is this?

imamommyMarch 28, 2010

I sent BM's BF's exW a text to let her know about SD's birthday party. It was on her weekend and SD wanted them to come, but BM said that exW wouldn't let the kids come. So, I sent her a text telling her sorry her kids can't come. She tells me that she is no longer even talking to BM's BF (her exH). Wow! They were very amicable when BM came into the picture and it has come to this... she says her kids go there on their weekends only & that's it.

Then she tells me that BM chose to schedule her C section ON exW's birthday! That just blows me away.... if it was intentional (and knowing BM, I think it was), then from now on... BF's kids will be pulled to spend that day celebrating a birthday.. their mom's or their brothers. I can see BM making that baby birthday parties, just to make the kids choose to come to brother's birthday party over spending it with their mother. I really hope she isn't THAT evil... but irregardless, I still think that it's sick. I'm sure she knew what day it was... at least her BF must have.

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Here's what I think is sick ... that you actually sent a text message to your husband's ex wife's boyfriend's ex wife. Good grief.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2010 at 10:55PM
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Wow, good that you're being so constructive, Terinick. (note sarcasm)

Anyhow, Ima, I'm not terribly surprised that BM would stoop to that level... This is, after all, a woman who collects child support on a child she doesn't have in her care and frequently lies to her own daughter in order to manipulate you, your DH and your SD.
And now, by the sounds of it is trying to manipulate her BF, his exW and his kids.

I hope that you and BM's BF's exW are able to stay on good enough terms to get an inkling of what BM is actually up to with all her schemes and lies.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2010 at 11:46PM
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I guess it's unclear to me why IMA should have a relationship with her husband's ex wife's boyfriend's ex wife. Doesn't that just sound a bit removed, not to mention ... bizarre?

    Bookmark   March 28, 2010 at 11:59PM
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I don't have a relationship with her. We do communicate because we have a common interest... we care about the kids & she is part of my stepdaughter's life, even if it is not the same part I share with her. Is there a limit on who can be friendly with whom?

Ceph, I consider her the one person that truly knows what I go through with BM because she goes through the same thing when her kids come home from their house. We are the custodial mothers raising the children that are being damaged by this lunatic... sorry terinick disagrees with it.

When I heard this, I felt so bad for her because now her kids will forever share her day with their brother. I know it could have happened naturally that way and that would be a sad coincidence, but the fact that they had a planned, scheduled C section... you are right Ceph, she is doing all she can to manipulate everyone on that side as well. She goes around town telling folks that they are raising all 6 kids and she says they are the 'Brady bunch'. Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought the Brady bunch all lived together?

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 1:34AM
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I guess I'm a little confused.

Your SD's BM's BF's ExW. Whew!!!

So a woman chose to schedule her C-sect. for the birthday of her boyfriend's exwife? Am I getting at least that relationship right?

If so, and if she did it knowingly, what a petty move. Since I have no idea when DH's ex's birthday is, I could reasonably make that mistake on accident though.

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 2:11PM
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That is really wierd that she would schedule her c-section on her bf's ex-wifes b-day!! I am really hoping that this was not her intention and things just ended up that way. But in her case I could see her begging for that day! Just so her boyfriends kids moms birthday would be all about her new baby instead!

"She goes around town telling folks that they are raising all 6 kids and she says they are the 'Brady bunch'."
This sounds like something bm in my case does!! She claims to be supermom to her kids and is really a deadbeat who does way more harm than good!

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 3:58PM
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You got that relationship right. I could see how it could be done accidentally, however when you go home & tell your DH the date, I would think he might say "oh, that's my ex wife's birthday" (at least that's what I would think)

It's just me, but if I had a choice, I would not want my baby born on my ex's or my husband's ex's birthday ~or their anniversary~ etc. Of course, that is IF I had a CHOICE. Scheduling an elective surgery... there is a bit leeway to choose the date.

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 4:01PM
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Well BM is crazy, it is known.

But I could never understand why contacting BM's BF's ex. collecting information?

she is bitter about her ex and what she says about BM might not be true. it all sounds like gossiping, but nothing wrong with that, we women all like gossiping. I just wouldn't trust this woman. if someone/anyone contacts me and asks things about my ex and his wife I would not say a word, I don't think it is OK that she speaks poorly of them to you.

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 5:40PM
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"That is really wierd that she would schedule her c-section on her bf's ex-wifes b-day!! "

Well - I scheduled the finalization hearing for my divorce on my wedding anniversary.
(And yes, I absolutely did it on purpose. Passive-aggressive was the only thing that ever worked with him... And it felt like 'un-doing' a mistake that way.)

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 6:43PM
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LOL Sweeby... That's priceless! Turn it into a celebration, right?!

    Bookmark   March 29, 2010 at 6:45PM
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Kinda -- My 'Take Back the Night!' day.

    Bookmark   March 30, 2010 at 9:37AM
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not sure what you consider gossip.

When SD came home throwing up and she told me her kids frequently came home sick to their tummy from eating nothing but candy, cookies, & soda ~ no real food... it explained why SD was always feeling yucky & why she was gaining weight. BM would have lied to us.

When BM arranged a meeting with us (near her house, with a two hour drive) and when we were already en route, she called and told us she was out of town and couldn't make it. but exW, who lives in the same town, told me she was at home at the time she told us she was out of town. BM didn't want to sit down & discuss SD's problems, so instead of canceling the meeting, BM said she was out of town which was going to cause us to drive a extra two hours.

When BM said she can't come get SD because she was snowed in, exW sent me a picture text of the sunny blue skies and no snow on the ground.

When BM said she is sick in bed, exW says "funny, she is here at my kid's ball game right now.. I'm looking at her"

When BM said she broke her leg & couldn't get SD, exW told me what store she was shopping at for the other kids' Halloween costumes.

Sharing information (not gathering.. what for? We already know what BM is all about) helps us deal with the craziness.

When BM posted she was pregnant, I let exW know so she had two weeks to digest it before they told her. She was grateful because while I thought the idea of BM having another baby was ridiculous, she was a little devastated. She already felt her ex didn't spend enough time with their kids and she was (rightfully so) worried that a new baby would mean less time with dad.. and maybe less child support. Of course, we have similar concern and it is coming to fruition.. she is spending less time with SD and talking of reducing her child support because she has another mouth to feed. Her ex spends less time with his kids now too.

So, I guess in a way.. we offer moral support to each other. She sent me a text just before the party to say she was thinking about me, hopes it goes well, and keep my chin up because it will be over before I know it. That isn't much different than the support/advice others gave me from this forum.

Sweeby, that makes sense. It was YOUR day... you traded one happy day for another. That is priceless... (actually, I have had requests to have people served on specific days... holidays/birthdays/anniversaries)

    Bookmark   March 30, 2010 at 3:58PM
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I don't care or mind if you call or text DH's ex's BF's ex. Even if for talking about BM. Nothing wrong with that. I just would not trust everything she says about BM and her ex because she clearly has her own agenda. BM is her ex's GF, she might be jealous, who knows. i would not use her inside information as ultimate truth.

    Bookmark   March 30, 2010 at 6:26PM
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UGH. I can totally relate to that birthday thing.

I'm slightly concerned b/c BM is due a week after MY DD's birthday. She had a c-section last time and is having one again. She had mentioned something to DH about scheduing the c-sec a week to 10 days ahead of her due date.

I hope against all hope it is not on DD's birthday---because then SS is going to be pulled in two different directions on all the years to come, if DD and this new baby have the same birthday.
BM will want him with her and we will want him with us. In the past, we've always tried to be amicable and switch for special occasions (if it doesn't disrupt the schedule) but sharing a bday would make it harder to be flex.

OH well. Not much I can do about it either way!

    Bookmark   March 31, 2010 at 12:14PM
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