This should be interesting....
For those of you that follow my saga... you'll remember that SD13 has been living with us full time since she was 8 (when mom found a new boyfriend & split) and that even though mom didn't want to take her, she threw a fit anytime I did any "mom" things with her daughter. She has been a wedge keeping me from having a relationship with SD & SD has willingly complied with mommy's wish... so here we are five years later & SD would rather walk on sharp glass than have to talk to me. (of course now mommy is telling daddy how Ima needs to be nicer & do things for SD, even though she is JUST her stepmom ~blech!)
Anyway, you'll remember that after SD could no longer get BM to call daddy, yelling about whatever SD said Ima did to her that week... she cried on grandma's shoulder & grandma became nasty to me, leading to her storming off at my last party (4th of July 2011) and I haven't talked to MIL since... except a few minutes on Christmas morning in passing. So, now she only has daddy to whine to about me... and since I no longer do ANYTHING for her, he is a bit frustrated at having to do things he never had to do before. That has put a strain on our marriage. BUT, he is seeing how she manipulates, even though he continues to allow her to manipulate him... I think he just hates confrontation. I will let that be his problem.
However, he has also been vocal in wanting my son out of our house. My son is 23 and moved back "temporarily" for 3-4 months but that was 8 months ago. He hasn't done what he said he would so I agree, he needs to beld accountable. I just disagree with how my DH handled it. He had him served with eviction papers... by my BIL. (who hasn't spoken to me since the day he walked off a job that I gave him) so I was peeved for many reasons (including knowing that if BIL served it, they had discussed it with MIL, who is a busybody and doesn't need to know) So, that's the back story in a nut shell.
So, my son (DGS's father) is moving back to this area. He is not pushing to get custody right away of DGS but he seems more interested in rekindling his relationship with DIL than bonding with DGS. My sister is renting him a room (studio w/an separate entrance) at her place... and she had another room so my other son is moving into it this week... so that takes care of both sons... not living in my house anymore. To top it off, my daughter is also getting an apartment of her own soon... she is waiting for the credit check & will know by this week. (she has good credit & job history so probably not a problem) Which leaves us SD & DGS living in the home. Currently, my daughter has the large room (because she had that room well before I met DH ~ he moved into MY house) & both SD and DGS have the same size smaller rooms. Obviously, since SD can't stand me & she isn't my favorite person, I am planning to give the bigger room to DGS... he does have more stuff in his room (toy kitchen, train table, and cubby toy box that leaves very little room in his current room. (plus he is there 24/7 while SD goes to mom's on weekends & all summer) I haven't told DH my "plan" because.. well, first he doesn't yet know my son is moving out ~my son was going to move out while DH is at work this week~ but he will know in a couple of days and I'm pretty sure DH will think it's a better idea to give SD the bigger room. I can see this creating some conflict of course.
and the other big news is that DH's parents (yes, my wonderful [sarcasticly said] MIL) sold their house and are moving to another state. Yay!!! (for me) but it wasn't what SD wanted to hear... she spent 45 minutes crying in her room with DH, asking if they can move there too? I mean, it's not like SD sees them a lot and is close to them. She only sees them a few times a year but makes the most of it by telling grandma how horrible I am to her, so then MIL is nasty to me. So, SD is losing her "support" person and has been upset ever since DH told her. (attitude & slamming doors) Anyways, can you tell how mean & unsympathetic I am? Well, I do feel bad for SD because she was abandoned by her mom, now she's being abandoned by another person she looks to for being on "her side". The only one left is DH and if she has her way, he will leave me... that's what she wants anyways. (he has fed that fantasy when, two years ago, he got frustrated at me for paying more attention to DGS [this was when DGS first came to live with us & he was not in favor of raising a baby full time] and he told SD to grab an overnight bag & they left to stay with MIL/FIL. Ever since then, I imagine SD wishes he would leave me & if he did, that is where they would live since he has too much debt to get his own place.) With MIL/FIL leaving the state, it also removes that as a possibility since DH has no desire or interest in moving out of state. He's had his job for 24 years & couldn't take SD there anyway without going back to court for permission... and he said he would never take SD that far from BM.
But, I'm not giving her my daughter's room... so that may be the final test of our relationship. We'll see.