The Gall

lamomMarch 6, 2009

I have posted here extensively on the indifference shown by my adult skids, in particular, SS29, to my DS6 with cancer.

SS29 left a message for me asking for me to use a contact of mine at a local university dental school to get free/cheap dental work for Stepgrandson 8. I have done this twice in the past. Once they no showed for the appointment, the 2nd time they showed up with double the dental problems they told me and that I told my friend about. Some of the services were to be free, some at cost and my friend ended up eating the costs. I offered to reimburse him to save my embarassment over these deadbeats but he declined saying I had enough trouble with that kid around!

I haven't called SS29 back but sent the message via DH No Can Do. Of course, SD35 leaves me a message today to try to smooth the waters, offering to pick up any costs this time. The Gall! Fugetaboutit! I guess the BM's in the house will say "don't punish the grandkids." Puhleeze.

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nicksmom

yeah...really...ya can't fix stupid (see my other post to you)

oh, and yeah....don't punish the grandkids...it's not their fault that their parents suck at life.

    Bookmark   March 6, 2009 at 8:22PM
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deborah_ps

I would have thought since they've "established" a relationship with the dental school they wouldn't need your graces again? And to do a no show...the gall is right. Right there says they don't have respect for others.
Your SD must think it's all about the money and doesn't know about the 1st no-show and all of the extras that were required the last time.
Oh, and so you get a call when the SS needs something? Perfect.

    Bookmark   March 6, 2009 at 8:54PM
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gardenandcats

I'd tell them that your contact at the dental school said no can do..saves you the hassle of saying no ..

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 8:02AM
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finedreams

they should be able to call to the school themselves and set up an appointment. i know one dental school in the area that is cheap, I never used it but everyone can call and set up an appt. if they screwed up before, then you don't have to do it.

If SD35 wants to help then she could make that phone call to dental school.

the other option is if a poor child does need work done, but dad is unreliable, then your DH could make an appt and take his grandson there himself wihtout relying on SS. In this case he is taking care of his grandson not SS who does not deserve it. would that work?

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 10:37AM
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pseudo_mom

I hope this comes out the way I mean it... but I am not sure how to write with out sounding insensitive (sorry)

If your son were not sick ... would you even bother with your SC and your SGC?

They don't show any interest in your son and show no interest in you other than when they NEED something.

I know you cannot take your son's health out of the equation but if all they do is cause you more and more stress why bother trying to form a relationship with them.

As far as the dental aren't they on state assistance? let them deal with it on their own ... they have shown no regard for you or your son.

How was their relationship with your son before he got sick? same? better or worse?

And your hubby's relationship with his children and grandchildren is his own ... it has nothing to do with your relationship with them ... if you want one have it if not don't ...

(my own personal rant)...

My SD was manipulated into hating me and once I recognized that I came to terms with our relationship we don't have one she is the girl who visits with my hubby and thats all it is the boys well they are children I care for with hubby but SD10 is a visitor. She doesn't(can't) have a relationship with me because her mother doesn't approve of it. It is what it is.

I don't know if you can do it ... but it has given me great peace in my life to know that no matter what I do SD and I will never have the relationship we use to have so I do not have to try and have one she doesn't come here to visit me he comes here to visit hubby I am not part of that equation. His relationship with his daughter has nothing to do with me. On rare occassion I will bring her home but I take one of the boys with me so I "cover" my own a$$ so nothing can be used against me in a court of law.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 1:14PM
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lamom

All,

Apparently, stepgrandson has a painful toothache I found out today. The dental school does not take emergencies on Saturdays so he has to see a regular dentist meaning regular dollars. Per the advice here, DH said he would pick up the cost for the emergency visit today but no others. The dentist who agreed to see stepgrandson is the same friend who is once again seeing him as a favor to me in his private practice vs the dental school.(don't punish the grandkids!) DH asked if I would ask about the remainder of the dental work. I reminded him, gently, that he knows this professor too. Not as well as me but well enough. Ball is in DH's court for his grandkids.

Yes, SD35 or SS29 could do all of this, DH too, but they believe, correctly, that a close contact like mine is better for freebies and faster appointments. I still believe their collective gall is in action and this kid's teeth ain't my problem.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 4:02PM
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deborah_ps

You can bet that whenever your SGS8 needs any dental work, it will all be at "emergency" times now that your DH is covering this one...
It's sad isn't it?
Cudos to you and hubby for helping this little guy out though...toothaches are dreadful.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 4:19PM
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lamom

deborah,finedreams,nicksmom and all,

The emergency dental problem of stepgranson 8 was a genuine emergency as it turned out today. Like most, preventable with preventative treatment, regular dental appts. of course. My dentist friend handled, DH will pay.

Hold on to your seats, SS29 said to DH that he believed I should get stepgrandson 8 and ALL of them free dental care at the dental school because I know a professor!! And, what's the problem? DH, hooray, said that is not my job to "hook them up" at the school or with my dentist friend and that SS29 should get a job with dental insurance! Told me that he told SS29 not to call anymore about stepgrandsons dental problems since we pay this same dentist friend ourselves for DS6 at the private practice so why should X grandson get the same treatment, for free, courtesy of me? Reminded SS29 on how they had walked out on their last bill at the school. (I was so proud!)

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 9:53PM
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finedreams

you don't have to do anything for them. DH maybe should do something for garndkids but you don't. plus again i don't understand why aren't kids on state insurance. in any case I would tell them in the future that since they dind't pay last time professor doesn't want to deal wiht them anymore.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2009 at 7:46AM
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justnotmartha

well it's about time! Yay - let's hope he keeps it up!

    Bookmark   March 8, 2009 at 2:04PM
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