Sense of Entitlement ~ sorta related to SF's
There is more than enough drama in my life with SD's BM being a bit of a nut... and with my DIL being a bigger nut... but, this is right out of left field for me...
My sister! She's gonna be 40 and raises the bar for defining dysfunctional.... maybe even bordering on mentally ill. I'm completely clueless and trying to understand where she is coming from.. maybe someone out here can shed light on what I am missing.
When my parents divorced about 28 years ago, we were allowed to choose where we wanted to live. I chose mom (to be her caretaker) and she chose dad (he had more money & worked a lot so she had more freedom). She is a year younger than me. When dad remarried, she was nasty to my stepmom... even though my dad met my stepmom through my sister because she was best friends with her daughter. (and they thought "wouldn't it be cool if your dad and my mom got married & we can be like really sisters... etc.) Once they married, my sister took on a new attitude and ended the friendship with her bestie & started a hate campaign against my SM. For the last 20+ years, she has not been much for family gatherings & rarely goes. Don't think she has ever bought a gift for anyone for any occasion... except of course her kids/spouse. Over the years, she has lived near dad & they help each other financially back & forth. (for example, dad paid her house payment for months when she had no work.. when it sold, she paid him back. When his business was slow, she loaned him to get through it and he paid her back when business picked up.)
I moved away from both of my parents with exBF and when we split up, I remained in that community until 5 years ago. Dad asked me to move here and help him start up another business. I moved here but the business fell through due to community protesting so I started my own business but stayed in this community. Then, last year dad started talking of retirement & wanted to sell his business. He does rentals... equipment and party. My sister has been a tractor operator for several years and knows the equipment side so she wanted to buy him out. She came to me and asked me to come in & buy the party side so we split the business. About that time, she personally filed for bankruptcy so getting a loan isn't going to happen for her. She wants my dad to carry the note. Meanwhile, DH & I are working on getting a loan and even with very good credit, we are finding it tough to find anyone making loans. But, my sister got angry when she heard we are trying because we have good credit & have a better chance of getting the loan... owning the business has always been her 'dream' (though I wonder if she hoped to inherit rather than buy)
She was making every day at work, for the last several months, miserable for me (since we share the same office) and all came to a head last week when she told my dad that five years ago, he changed! (that was about the time I moved here) She announced she is leaving the state and started listing her things on ebay/craigslist to show she is serious. Dad told her good luck, he thinks it's a mistake to go & try to start a new life in this economy, but he didn't tell her not to go. She's 40, married, and can do what she wants. Two days later, she blew up at him, saying that he doesn't care and she thought he would care... saying that I am the problem. She even tried to get me to engage with her by calling me names. I ignored her. She got angry, quit & walked out. The next day, she came in with our attorney. (I have a business relationship with this attorney. She represents my dad on everything and represented me, my son, & my DH on our custody case... I also do work for her through my other business.) I stood at the counter and after a couple of minutes, my sister snarled at me that I can go sit down because it is none of my concern what the attorney is discussing with my dad. (My dad is being sued because my sister did a job under my dad's license & they cannot sue my sister because she filed bankruptcy so my dad & his brother~who is also on the license~ are being sued). It was humiliating... our attorney even had to tell her to behave and leave the family stuff alone. My dad was embarrassed. This is awful....
I know it's not necessarily stepfamily related but now I can see why it would be difficult if not impossible for dad to ever get married. It made me think of the struggles that many of us stepparents go though with our Sk's to have a relationship with the parent.... perhaps, sometimes it never ends for some parents... their kids are just DEAD set to make sure nobody gets in the way of THEIR relationship with their parent... even if it's your own SISTER!