Birthday siblings

nikemamaMarch 27, 2009

My middle son is turning 10 next week. He is planning on having maybe 6 kids from school come spend the night. My oldest son (15) says that he is going to his GF's and avoid as much as possible of the whole birthday thing. SS (13) says he isn't coming cause he don't want to deal with it either. SD will likely not come either if SS (12) doesn't come. Am I crazy thinking that the older kids should be at little brothers birthday regardless of if they don't think it is their cup of tea???

It is his birthday for crying out loud. I feel like somethings you suck it up for the people who matter to you. DH thinks it isn't any big deal and I shouldn't expect them to be at the party/sleep over.

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mom2emall

I remember being a teenager and my stepmom asking me to be home to help with my sisters b-day party. I was planning on going out with friends. Did not occur to me at the time that I needed to be at a 5 year olds friend party.

Maybe you should just tell the kids that your son "wants" them there to celebrate his birthday and you could also use the help.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2009 at 5:01PM
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imamommy

I don't blame the older kids for wanting away from a group of tweens. Some teens don't mind but some just don't want to be bothered by younger kids following them, copying them and it's unreasonable to expect the older kids to come to a 'kid' party if they have no interest in it. I do think the older kids need to celebrate with their brother, but maybe at a smaller family celebration, not with the group of friends.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2009 at 5:08PM
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kkny

I agree with ima, a small family celebration seperate from the kids. My mom never made any of her kids do anything togethor as friends (as opposed to family things -- theres a difference), and now we are all the best of friends. I think forcing things on kids, just like forcing on anyone, can breed resentment.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2009 at 5:17PM
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ceph

What about asking the other kids to be there for cake and presents, and then they can head off to do whatever else they so please?

    Bookmark   March 27, 2009 at 7:02PM
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justnotmartha

I was thinking the same as Ceph - stick around for the cake and gifts and then split. . . . if there isn't a separate family party planned. If there is, I would say the kids could miss the slumber party. Chances are your son wants to hang with his friends not his sibs any way.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2009 at 3:21AM
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mom23step23

My older kids always cleared out when something like this happened. Shouldn't be a big deal. I think the 10 year old would rather spend the time with friends anyway, most do.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2009 at 9:38AM
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