'Choosing' family members
There is alot of brewhaha about choosing on this board.
Either the bio parent shouldn't have to get along with the step parent because they didn't "choose" him/her to parent their child or the child doesn't get to "choose" their parents step or bio...etc etc.
If you really think about it there is no picking and choosing family at all. You can't pick your parents new spouse. Ex's can't hand pick step parents. Step siblings can't pick each other. Blood relatives are family because of blood not choices. Blood relatives do not choose to be family. I did not hand pick Layla but she is my child and I love her none the less. I didn't go to Wal-Mart and pull the twins off a shelf on a two for one deal either but I love them and consider them very much to be my family.
Family is not something that can be scored or validated with "choices" or the in this case the lack thereof. A family is no less a family because one member feels they didn't have a say....if that was the case there would be no families! Sometimes the best families happen by "accident".
P.S. I sure as hell didn't get to pick out the girls biomom. I'm still having to deal with her though and so is everyone else in the family.