Negative event, silver lining with SD36

lamomMarch 8, 2010

I posted last week that SD36' job was at risk due to contract problems with her firm and major client due to no fault of her own. I suggested and both agreed, that if SD loses her job today, this week that she goes to work with DH. They are both happy with this idea, he needs the help and she need the work so I'm happy.

The most positive part of this negative event is that since I listened without a whole lot of judgement to SD36's professional woes, mostly because I've experienced them myself and DH, self-employed for 25 years and BM, a nurse for one hospital almost as long, have never lived any of this, SD is sharing with me!!! I know you know how major this is! . They, DH and BM, couldn't stop talking about what she was losing on salary etc like it was her fault. They were very young parents so for SD to stumble after years of acheivement reflects on them they think. Durr, read a newspaper. So SD36 is relieved by little old Me who has been there. BY ME, the formerly evil SM. I'm not happy at all that her job is at risk but it looks like she's got something else lined up already, YAY. But that I was the ONLY one who didn't come at her judgementally including DH and BM and in fact, am the only one who has been in her position for real and listened without throwing in her face how much she was losing in salary, perks and so on since I have been there personally and it has been a good thing for our relationship. If her new job doesn't land, she'll work for DH, my idea, for a bit. If her new job through contacts does land, she's using my references to land it. I am glad to do it for her.

Is that an evil stepmom? Dad's kid vs. Mom's kid's? It just all depends on the individuals!!!!!!!

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lovehadley

I'm happy that your SD confided in you. And I think she did so because you have a good heart, and she knows you genuinely care for her AND respect her as an individual.

It's a shame her parents had to view her job insecurity as something personal. In this economy, it seems almost no one is 100% safe.

Fingers crossed your SD's career goes in the direction she wants.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2010 at 3:04PM
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lamom

Thanks lovehadley. SD36 did lose her big job and DH has hired her to work for him part-time at his office.

I hope that now that she will be around a lot more that things can continue to grow between her, DS7 and me. DH had a pretty big injury last week, and SD kept DS overnight while we were at the hospital and took him to the school bus stop in the morning. In most families this would be no big deal but with my husband's family and our history I was thrilled!

Putz SS30 didn't even call his dad until almost a week later, actually his GF called, with a weak excuse about the cell phone was broken, they just heard from SD......uggg.

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 12:39PM
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finedreams

hope your DH feels better...

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 7:52PM
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mom2emall

I am so glad that she was able to lean on you and you were able to be there for her. This may be the beginning of a wonderful change in your relationship :)

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 10:16AM
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lamom

Thanks lovehadley, FD and mom2emall,

So far so good. It's fun talking to SD36 every day now. We'll see how it goes.

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 12:42PM
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kkny

Lamom,

Has it ever crossed your mind that your DH was afraid to employ your SD until you gave "permission"?

As much as you are so intend on giving yourself kudos, your DH built the business, not you.

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 2:07PM
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pseudo_mom

well atleast he asked her about a decision that would/could effect both of them. Thats what good hubby's do consult not just make decision and let SM deal with the aftermath.

Hope he is feeling better LA :)

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 3:39PM
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silversword

"As much as you are so intend on giving yourself kudos, your DH built the business, not you"

Yeah LA. Don't take credit. After all this isn't your family. You're just a visitor.

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 3:45PM
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lamom

kkny,

Kudos...kudos...kudos... That is all.

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 4:04PM
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lamom

kkny,

SD36 has worked for DH at his business a couple of times in the past. Also, in addition to her now gone job, she has a side business and DH throws work her way whenever he can. The idea of "Permission" from me is just plain loco, so no, it never occured to me.

This time around though, money at his business is tight like everywhere else, he was concerned about how much pay she would want/need coming off of her high paying job, the differences in their work styles (not good or bad but he's an entreprenuer and she's a corporate type) and some concerns about hiring her back again. In the past, when SD worked for DH, she told BM some confidential things about DH's business and it was a big deal. Some other things happened too as they will with any family member. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then.

Which is what I told him when I suggested he hire her again since she is out of work. I only gave an idea and some encouragement given the history, they talked, worked it out and now it's working out. He wasn't thinking about hiring her again to work directly for him, just to keep sending her referrals for her side business which is not enough right now.

So...Kudos...kudos...kudos...that is all.

    Bookmark   March 23, 2010 at 4:53PM
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