Ex hit stepson...how do we deal with it without scaring stepson?
We have a very manipulative, inmature, drama seeking ex that my husband and I have to deal with regularily. We've been together for almost 10 years and from the very beginning I knew it was trouble but you can't help who you love right?
So...last week my husband got a call from his Ex, she was very mad saying she was going to hit his son. My husband was never told what the argument was about and when he spoke with his son (11 years old) he said he was ok and wanted to stay cause it was his Moms weekend. This weekend he was over with us and told his Dad that his Mom hit him in the leg while they were driving and then she swung at his face but missed. Obviously my husband was very upset and angry but chose to wait until his son was not around to talk to his Ex. While I was out taking his son for a hair cut he called his Ex. She had the nerve to get mad at my husband for bringing it up! Then later called and talked to my stepson and got mad at him for telling and told him to talk to my husband so that he would not call childerns Services becasue she would go to jail and he would get taken away from her! Because of how she handled it and included my stepson in the adult situation and conversations(which is normal for her and just another form of manipulation to get what she wants) we now are confused on how to handle this situation wihtout my husband looking like the bad guy to his son.
My step son repeatedly asked my husband not to call anyone. My husband explained that it was not right, and that he wanted his Mom to get help and we weren't trying to take him away but that it was not normal behaviour and neither was getting mad at him for telling...now he won't want to tell his father anything! If I had the time I would give a summary of some of the things over the years we've dealt with but at this time I'm just concerned for my stepson and the Ex's mental state. I know a little of her upbringing and from what I gather fighting and hitting was normal, my husband remembers her with two black eyes becasue ehr father hit her.
I feel that he should suggest that his son live with us or at least increase his time with us because sons at this age need more time with their father, perhaps spin it so that "She needs a break and it would good for eveyrone" if he come to live with us. The problem is that then she won't be entitled to child support...which will be the end of that conversation and then we're back to calling childern's services...Help!