problems with daughter and stepfather
Ive been married over two years. My husband(BA) and I have a few issues of our own but the main problem is my daughter(AS) 16 doesnt want him here. He fusses to me about her and she fusses to me about him. He doesnt get to see his three boys 13,12,9 because of his ex.(thats another subject all its own) My daughter does not have a relationship with her father by his choice. He sees her or talks to once or twice a year and only lives twelve miles away.
BA and AS got along really well until about six months ago. He and I had a fight and got hit. I hit back. He was diagnosed with bipolar and since is in counseling and on medication which is working. Like I said we a couple of issues to work out. He and my son get along great. But AS trys to be the mother to my son and trys to be in control of everything wants to know everything.
I need help we are separated right now but he is begging to go to family counseling and will do what ever is need to work on family. AS thinks he doesnt want her here. He thinks she doesnt want him here. They both are saying the same stuff about the other.
I told them they are to spend one to two hours together a week when we set down for a family meeting. This was working until he and I had an argument, just arguing, and she got mad at him. If we argue she takes it personally.
She is a good kid. She had a wonderful 16th bday party and hugged us both, she makes good grades but she says if he comes home she is leaving. Want to live with my parents who put their two cents worth in quite often, even when they are told to but out. What do I do I love them both. I will never choose someone over my child they both know that and he doesnt expect me to. But she says she will move out and visit. My parents are stritch, my husband is stritcked, and we agree on chores and punishment. I am in charge of my children, I have allowed him to be in control too much but I have stepped up. I have never had the support and love of a man like him before, he has been great but he and she cant get along. We have caught her smoking in the past and doing the stuff most teenagers try, he says she is too disrespectful of me and talks back to me alot and she does, and she is disrespectful to him will go days and not even speak to him.