Unrealistic expectations of a blended family

silverswordMarch 22, 2010

Belief that a blended family will be immediately loving: the instant family myth.

Belief that stepchildren will love you.

Belief that the stepchildren will respect and/or obey you.

Belief that a blended family will be like a nuclear family.

Belief that the biological parent, your spouse, will support you in ways that are not happening.

Belief that the biological parent, your spouse, will see your side.

Belief that the biological parent, your spouse, will intuitively know what you want--that he/she can read minds.

Belief that the stepchildren will be fair to you.

Belief that the stepchildren can think like adults.

Belief that the biological parent, your spouse, will want to function as a team.

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lamom

Great list. Can I add:

Belief that stepchildren will accept and/or love any new siblings, step or half
Belief that if a stepparent tries really, really hard, that the effort will change any of the above.
Belief that time will will change any of the above.

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 2:16PM
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lamom

Thanks Silver,

I should have had this list 12 years ago. Or even two years ago. Am going to share it with some women not on this board struggling with the same challenges.

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 2:31PM
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silversword

I like what you added :)

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 2:38PM
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sweeby

I'd like to add:

Belief that the stepkid's feelings or perceptions about you are actually based on your behavior or personality.
(They knew all about you before they even met you.)

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 3:47PM
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