Probably Need My Head Examined...But I'm Happy

sandy808August 4, 2010

Well, we meet early next week with a fella that we think we can work with in getting our floor plan ideas into blueprints faster than we can ourselves. His fee is extremely reasonable. Wish me luck that it all works out. Maybe this time someone will actually listen to my ideas! After that, we can all brainstorm on the final getting my kitchen perfectly laid out.

I have also made a final decision on my sewing studio. I have let too many others, my husband included, try to sway what I want in my heart. I want a sewing loft. I love lofts. Every time someone tries to talk me out of it I say I'm O.K. without it and will build an alternative. Then I turn into a snotty, sleep deprived, awful person to be around. Weeks go by and no progress is made. Ten months have slipped by and still no house.

I told my husband this morning I wasn't interested in building a house anymore and wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do at this point. I said maybe I needed to get away and figure things out because I dreaded getting up in the morning any more because I was sick and tired of "the house". His immediate response was that he knows I have always wanted my own loft, and realizes that I won't be happy with anything else. He said he was O.K. with it and I feel he actually meant it this time. He actually has the roof structure and the foundation loads engineered out already, so at least that is done.

The challange will be in making sure we construct the house to minimize any wear and tear from weather on that second story. I know of someone, and actually saw what he did, to one of his structures down here. He had custom metal made for siding, in a beautiful victorian pattern. it was essentially weather proof. Not sure if I would do that, but it's a thought....

We're not too worried about cooling, as we will insulate the dickens out of it. We also bought a solar panel that we are going to try out as a power source for our barn. If it works we will continue to buy panels until we are close to being off grid at some point in the future. At any rate, if it works well, they have the potential to at least lower our bills with the power company as time goes on.

Any suggestions are welcome. We are hoping to push things along and break ground sometime next month. We have enough land to go to "Plan B" if I should ever become ill or end up in a body cast. At that point sewing would be the least of my worries anyway.

Oh, and that outbuilding I can "see" on the northwest corner of our property? That's where some animals and a potting shed will go.


Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

OH Sandy I am so glad you have worked it out with YOU. I totally understand your frustration on all of this. You need to build for you. I did that here. Even when MFH builder told me I was crazy I am so happy with my decisions to make the changes I made to their idea of a perfect home. And anything I did do can be changed down the road and so for as long as I am living here I am so happy with my modifications.

AND I know after I had the big go round with my husband at our last house over some room changes that were making me miserable in the house I finally started liking the house after fighting it for two years. Stress like this is not good for a person. So I REALLY am glad you have it sorted out in your brain. Hum hope that sounds right I am kind of tired today. LOL


    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 5:55PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I understand wanting to back away completely rather than have it up in the air or worse, not really liking what is going on. I'm glad you two got it resolved. Now the fun begins! I sure hope you have a blog to record everything. *hint, hint*

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 6:00PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks so much you two. I was afraid you'd think I was a flake because of all my mind changing. I decided at age 56 I deserve to have a home the way I want and dug my heels in. I was talked out of a loft (actually was told "no") in our last home and guess's sold now, but we ended up wanting land again anyway. All I remember thinking during the build was that I was still young enough to sell it someday and build what I really wanted. I made that house very pretty, but I never really bonded with it. I'll keep you updated as we proceed. I'm actually in a good mood now. My husband is relieved I've quit trying to pick fights. I guess I was angry.

It's not that my husband's concerns about a lofted home were not valid. He is absolutely right about all of them. However, nothing in life is perfect, and you come up with the best solutions you can. I feel the pleasure I will get out of this loft will outweigh any disadvantages. DH said this afternoon he'll keep a lookout for an old beat up bucket truck that some utility company wants to get rid of. He knows how to fix things anyway, and then we can just bucket ourselves up there if we have to clean the house or fix something. (Anything for a new "toy" right? Men!). Can't you just see two old geezers up in a bucket truck? It's hilarious.

No the stress has not been good. I haven't felt this joyless since one of our daughters was a teenager and getting into all sorts of trouble. (She's now fine and a great young lady). I look awful and have started putting on weight. When I am happy my weight is fine. Now I've got pounds I have to lose, but the stairs should help, right?!

Thank goodness we have a solid foundation in our marriage (been married 27 years), but this sure tested it!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 6:26PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"(Anything for a new "toy" right? Men!). Can't you just see two old geezers up in a bucket truck? It's hilarious."

OH Good GAWD I know all about those men in bucket trucks. EEEEKKK When we worked the cemetery DH borrowed the telephone company bucket truck to clean up an old willow tree. I was on the ground of course. Well dang if a branch did not come down landing on it's tips and BOUNCED directly at me about 30 foot and I was running backwards as fast as I could to get away from it and fell backwards over a headstone and that limb just kept after me until it had me pinned. Sheese I was all bunged up in the face and sore from falling over the stone and here DH and I are laughing so hard I almost wet myself. NOW that would be insult to injury. I swear that limb was going to get me. Who knew it would bounce so high and so far???

Honestly Sandy I am so glad for you. Deep breath sigh of relief. I know how hard you have worked on this. I know your feeling of being angry over not getting what you not so much WANT but NEED in your life to make your home work for you.

We do not think you are nutty for changing your mind . I do it all the time. We need to think things through over and over to be sure it works for us. We only go around once. I am so glad my DH let me make the changes to this house and not freak out when I did not want a closet in the third ,not now, bedroom. And to have the closet in my studio open to the ceiling. And and and.

You take a nice rest now because when you start building there will still be so many decisions to make.

We will be as supportive as a rubber crutch. Hehehehehe


    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 6:43PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

If you're going to put a loft up under a cathedral ceiling, strongly consider building the roof of SIP's (structural insulated panels). The best I've seen are steel SIP's, which are so weather-proof they can be used without siding, and often are for commercial use. SIP's are made of foam panels sandwiched in between structural sheets of steel or OSB. The technology comes from walk-in coolers and freezers. Steel SIP's can span a pretty long distance, so you can avoid most roof framing for a nice appearance inside. Up to 12" thick, they are super-insulating. If I had the money, I'd build my house out of them.

If you want links to suppliers and forums where SIP's are discussed, let me know. No I'm not in the business, but I've done a lot of research on all this stuff.


    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 6:49PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi Sandy, I hear ya girl! I built 2 years ago coming from CA to TX. When I mentioned different things I wanted in the home, I always got a raised eye brow, a why or what for. Examples:2 different finishes on kitchen cabs/whole first floor wood, except foyer/walk in shower-no tub(master bath/no white trim-doors/only one ceiling fan/wrought iron to be left natural/ceiling fixtures ALL centered. I was building *my* home from the heart, and I had had my 'visions for several years'.I was a person who wanted to deviate slightly from the main stream, and builders don't like that. I have everything I wanted except I didn't go with the walk in shower~$10K!!

And this is the kicker! I recently went into a model home of this particular builder, and he had used a few of my ideas~large walk in shower~NO tub in master, two finishes on kitchen cabs, and darker beige trim-doors w/lighter beige walls. Guess my ideas weren't so bad afterall. ;o)

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 8:47PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

'you'd think I was a flake because of all my mind changing'

you saying I'm a flake?

lol! I change my mind about changing my mind! we're entitled - we're female and we're older now. We're entitled to be entitled about something!

I'm glad you settled it. If you're calmer and less stressed then it's the right decision.

heat goes up and a ceiling fan can push it right back down - especially if you aren't up there needing the warmth!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 8:50PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I really enjoy this forum. It's so refreshing compared to the regular building house forum. The kitchen one has become McMansion minded as well.

Chris I was having some ice water when I read your post about the tree limb. I laughed so hard I spit some water. I'm sure you were scared at the time till the dust settled, but the vision you painted is so funny.

Jay, I would be interested in exploring any information that sounds good, and I appreciate the offer. I'd have to research it well, as I do have some concerns about foam products holding up long term with the heat we have down here. We tried some foam panels that had reflective "foil" as an outer covering to insulate the inside of metal hangar doors, and they started to crumble after about 6 years. Did a good job in the meantime though. What you've mentioned may be a much, much better product, so yes, I'd like to look into it.

patty cakes, I'm with you on not having a master bathtub. I used our last bathtub very little in our last house. I guess I like showers better. The tub came in handy for washing some blinds that had gotten grimy from sticky handed teenagers though. 10 K for a shower?! Wow! I want a walk in shower, but we'll be doing things ourselves so the cost should be a bit more reasonable. When we get to that stage I'll let you know. Most likely I'll opt for the cultured marble rather than tile. I had cultered marble in our last home and what a dream it was to clean.I'm considering a matching bench seat built in as well. They're good for propping a leg onto to shave, and if surgery is ever needed for something, it would be good to be able to sit.

desertsteph...right on girl! I tend to run a little warm these days, but the old Florida crackers knew a thing or two about passive cooling, which we've been studying.

We went out to dinner and I was so nice for a change that my husband said he wouldn't even consider not building a loft now. While there we ran into a mutual friend and he said he heard the loft was back in business and he was glad. When he saw me last Friday in Lowes he said I wasn't a very happy looking person. Gee, news travels fast in this little town!


    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 10:15PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

LOL Sandy, you are the talk of the town! I change my mind more often than my clothes, and you know in the heat we're having lately, that's just about twice a day. I am so ticked about the a/c work we had done not cooling the den that I am ready to move again.

I would love to have a house built for this climate. There was a website I found one time where someone in Florida built a passive solar house and it had a lot of the features you described (if I remember right). I'll see if I can find it. I've often thought that just getting some air flow under the house would do a lot toward keeping the house cooler in summer. Winter could be hard though because we do have a few freezing days here.

I would love a walk in shower too. Ours has a low lip, but if the day ever came that one of us is in a wheelchair, our bathrooms wouldn't work at all.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 10:32PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I thought I was going to have to fire up the old desk top to see where I saved it, but I finally found it in a search.

And it's called a Florida Cracker House too. I never noticed that before.

Florida Solar House

I'm not crazy about their plan for real living, but the idea is interesting.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 10:37PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Sandy, I am happy that you were able to come to a decision that feels so right for you. And your DH was right there to agree. Twenty-seven years or twenty-seven decades would not have brought such an agreeable end in some marriages, and it is always a relief when you can rely on your partner to realize when something means so much that, practical or not, it is the right thing to do.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2010 at 11:47PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Sandy, definitely have a bench put in. I had one the length of the shower(5')in a home I lived in years ago, and what a treat to be able to sit and shave my legs! Cultured marble would look great, and you can't beat the ease of cleaning.

As for the loft, I love the idea! It would also be a great place for a computer space *IF* you weren't a sewer. It's your home, so if DH agrees, I see no reason for 'doing it my way', as 'ol blue eyes once said. ;o)

    Bookmark   August 5, 2010 at 2:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Sandy- I'll get you started with a green building site. There is a lot of discussion about different energy efficient building techniques, and things such as geothermal, etc. The only caveat is that there are a lot of professionals on there (which is good) but many of them are quite biased about their particular products. Hang around there a few days and you'll see what I mean.

Here is a link that might be useful: Green building

    Bookmark   August 5, 2010 at 4:30PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Jay, thanks for the Green site. I'll have to sit down and take my time going through it.

marti8a, that is quite the house. It looks huge! It looks like they have implemented some good ideas, but the absolute true cracker style is very simple compared to that home, in the general style. However, whose to say if those early settlers were still around they wouldn't be trying something new, right? There were a few around with a cupola in the early days, but they don't seem to be common. We were going to put one on the house originally, but they can be hard to maintain and is another area for a potential roof leak.

My husband said with the proper vents the house will perform the same as if it had a cupola. Some of the older homes have vents on the gable ends. I can't even imagine having a cupola with windows. I've seen a couple of them on modern versions of a cracker home. For one thing, who would ever want to clean the things? No one. So then you see dirty windows all the time. The other thing is the sun would be beating in and making the house extremely hot. There really isn't a practical way to cover them. Some cupolas do not have windows, but anytime you make a hole in your roof for something......

As people settled here from different areas they gradually brought some other styles with them. There are a few old homes in town that have been restored, and they have a more victorian look. There are also a few southern plantation styles that are old. The most common style still standing here is a two story "I" house with the added addition(s) on the back of the home. They had their kitchens outside the main living area for heat and safety reasons. They also added on as their families grew. The area that we live in is so cool because we can study these homes everytime we go into town or for a ride on back roads.

We had a composting toilet in our "little house" (about 400 square feet) that we lived in while we built the main house many moons ago, when we were first married. I love the idea of composting toilets, and would have no problem with one in an outbuilding, but I didn't enjoy having one in my home. I'm not a squeemish person either. It made me feel like I had an outhouse in my house. They also have to be delt with properly or you can end up with odors, flies etc. I didn't get bugs in the house, but sometimes the venting fan froze in the winter and then pee you!

The shower we build will most likely have a lip as well because the roll in ones can make a mess. I guess if one of us ever needs a wheelchair we'll have to remodel the shower. Hopefully, it'll never happen. My big thing is no shower door to clean and no shower curtains to deal with either.

I'm still feeling really good about my loft. I won't be changing my mind again.

Gee, I sure wish all of you were my neighbors. We'd have such a good time!


    Bookmark   August 5, 2010 at 10:06PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mama goose_gw zn6OH

sandy808, I was hoping that you'd decide in favor of a loft! I think it's the kid in me that loves those spaces--kinda like tree houses, but no mosquitoes.

And you are definitely not alone when it comes changing your mind. I prefer to call it 'exploring all my options.'

    Bookmark   August 6, 2010 at 9:12AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I was always a tree climber as a kid, and liked hanging out in our barn loft with my friends. It was magical. A loft IS a lot like a tree house, isn't it?

Anyway I am getting back to being my old self (now that I feel good about building a house again), something that Craig hasn't seen in a while. Needless to say, he's happy about that, and said he likes the way I have the loft designed...that it actually makes the house better with windows shining down from above, letting more light into the living spaces.


    Bookmark   August 6, 2010 at 11:56PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Sandy sez:"Maybe this time someone will actually listen to my ideas!"

Honey, I totally agree with you! And I also understand about wanting nothing to do with it when you are not part of the planning process. Many years ago, I thought I was a patient person, and it was only my lack of interest because no part of ME was being engaged. Once I got divorced (yeah), I went like a house on fire, because life was so exciting when you worked for your own ideas.

And the solar stuff is really my cup of tea. I love it.
We will be adding some solar water heating stuff to our house. Heating water accounts for about 40% of your electrical bill, or close anyway. And I have two solar panels which connect to a deep cycle battery so I can install some 12 volt lighting around the property. Our exposure to the south is just right, here in Mobile. And I also want to create a living roof (think the Nebraska sodbusters houses covered with grass or other plants) That would be an option for the redo of our old garage.

Anyway, I am pleased you've grabbed the bull by the horns. Also, your DH has gone up a couple of notches in my respect for him. It has to be both people equal partners. Good for him. Good for you.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2010 at 5:11PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Let's have's Tuesday, but really chilly, today!
After many days of unusually warm weather (which for...
This "makeover" is too bad to continue with. Too bad.....
" I agree with Paul8511 "going elsewhere...
ML - your new kitchen (or DR?) light fixture
I think I just saw one like it... somewhat anyway....
upper shelves in kitchen
Ok I am having someone make me some upper shelves in...
Help for me coming soon...
My family and friends have been praying for that all...
Sponsored Products
SLV Lighting | Quadrasyl WL 15 Outdoor Wall Light
$154.00 | YLighting
David Bromstad "Feeling Blue" Artwork III
Grandin Road
Suprelle Queen Memory Pillow - Firm
$124.50 | FRONTGATE
Caluco Space 48 x 24 Coffee Table (Teak Planks)
Axor | Starck Square Shower Head
$789.10 | YBath
Ash Slat Green Outdoor Rocker
Gun Table Lamp by Flos Lighting
$2,495.00 | Lumens
Surge Dining Set Set of 2 in Dark Brown
$547.00 | LexMod
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™