ima & fine,
in the babying too much thread you exchanged experience and personal position I'd like some personal advice on if you don't mind.
My DD is 13 1/2. She is exceptionally bright, is considered by our school district as highly capable and is able to start IB track in HS next year. My dilema is that she is so uninterersted and unmotivated her gradebook is full of missing assignments and her grades are currently poor and not reflective at all of her capability.
I wonder if she thinks "that can't happen to me" about actually repeating 8th grade. It is fair to say she has been adored by all and has on many occasions been given kindnesses for being so cute or charming and those days are over. She seems to expect good grades be handed to her for showing up, and the teachers she has now aren't the teachers who've babied her before.
She is home for 2 hours after school each day, she is here with her brother (8) from 3-5. She calls at 3 I tell her to do her homework. When I get home at 5 she says it's done. Days later I look at the school website to find no homework turned in. I believe what really happens afterschool is CSI, NCIS, House, Law and Order. DH and I just put channel locks on all channels that these shows can be watched on. We have taken away her cell phone, ipod, favorite books. She does just enough to earn them back then slacks off again. I took her out of sports because her grades were crap. She is not overloaded with chores. She does her own laundry, because her room is a disaster and I won't go in there. She has a basement suite with her own bathroom she should be cleaning but doesn't. I ask her to put the dishes away or vacuum only once her homework is done.
I know when I get home I should be asking to see this work she's done, but she could show me any piece of paper and I wouldn't know any better. Have her sit at the table while I fix dinner? tried it, she doesn't acomplish much. She tries to stay home when it's time to go to little brother's sports practices and games, always clainming homework. I used to let her, but since I'm sure she just watches TV I tell her bring her homework. We just had a 2 week vacation that included a 6 hr flight....all she was supposed to do was math homework...the excuse was she didn't have a calculator. She always has an excuse and is never prepared. Unable to think ahead to the next step. She is very book smart, lacks common sense. Her Dad calls her the dumbest smart kid he knows (NEVER to her or infront of her, just in our private conversations).
I really feel like by this age she should be able to manage her school work on her own, the organization and turning it in on time part. She is ALWAYS saying "I don't know" and "I forgot" when asked why nothings been turned in, or she lies and says she did and blames the teacher.
I have never had a teenager before, and could never have forseen my super achiever turn this way. I have to figure out how to get her back on track before she is seriously doing 8th grade again next year. I'm open to suggestions from all, just thought to ask you two in particular after reading the other thread.