Not holding him liable
I have only been using this site for a couple of weeks but for those of you who have seen my discussions I have an update:
I decided since my son's dad is not willing to be a father more than just his parenting time, that I was not going to hold him liable to his schedule. For the first time ever yesterday I did not call the X to see what time he was going to be picking up our son for his parenting time. He did not call me either to let me know so I assumed he would be here at five, since that is what the "papers" say (he is going strictly by the devorece agreement and not working and not helping me at all - he has no interest in even picking up son early. I really don't get it. We do every thing we can to get more time with my BF daughter and pick her up at least a day early every visitation)
So 5:20 rolls around and still no X and the phone rings. He told me that he does not have a car and asked if I would drop son off to him and then pick him up at the end of his parenting time. I told him no...duh.
I know that I complained in an earlier discussion that he does not take son enough, but he is not willing to take son to appoinments when I am sick and said that "I am his father, not his babysitter. My parenting time is as scheduled. I will not be picking him up early, keeping him late, and it is not my responsibility to take him to his appoinment." So if he is unwilling to watch his son when I am sick and can't take him to appoinments because I can't get off the couch, and is not doing anything to help me out right now, (I have things to do too to take care of myself - a sick mom is no good to a sick child. Oh yeah, did I mention he is not working?)then tell me why should I help him out? How many days are in a week that are the same week in and week out? So he has a least a week to find transportation to get his son and he waits until he is late to call me and ask me to drop what I am doing to help him out. I don't get it.
I have documented the situation as I was advised by some of you here, and come next week I will do the same for his Wednesday and his weekend "parenting time." We will see what happens. I have decided that I have done so much to benefit our child ALONE, and don't need his help anyway. if he is too irresponsable to arrange transportation and that is his excuss for not getting son, then maybe he doesn't want him anyway and he is better just staying home with me.