FDH had a chat with the kids re. taking responsibility for activities they're enrolled in, and for keeping us in the loop if they want us to attend (which we would like of course).
The next week: no phonecall from kids so we didn't go to the game. Later we heard that they played but forgot to call us. Oh well, true or not, the responsibility lies with them now and we don't have to risk going there for nothing again. (Still a bit annoyed they didn't call, but not surprised).
The week after FDH gets phonecall from SD14, she asked to come stay with us. She had had enough again of BM treating her so bad. She always tries to help BM, to be extra nice and do housework to get BM in a better mood, but when nothing works she gets to a point where she needs a break. So she came and stayed with us.
Immediately I feel so bad for these girls again, how neglected they really are by BM, how affected they are by it :-(
SD14 burst into tears when I saw her, BM had been so angry that she wanted to come to us that she had yelled "I hate you" at her own daughter. OMG Who does that??!!
With SD14 staying with us, we were the ones to take her to the semi-final game for basketball. BM was a no-show (but we did tell SD14 to let her know she was playing of course)
Her team won and they played the finals last Friday. The guy who coached the girls the first half of the season came up to us and told us that unfortunately the girls will probably not be accepted in the team next year. The other team members are not happy and the parents have complained. Fair enough.
Surprisingly he also said he understood our situation and he knew it wasn't in our control whether the girls attend or not. We have always felt bad because it seemed to reflect bad on us just as much as on BM, after all the other parents don't really know the custody arrangements and who the girls are supposed to be with. So it was nice to hear that he realises what is going on, as much as I try not to care about what other people think ;-)
On the way home the girls both said they think they're going to play again next year. I didn't comment nor did FDH, BM enrolled them this year and BM and girls will find out next year..
BM did come to the finals last Friday, she ignored SD14 which was downright weird because she was there to watch her game?? When she left she took her time saying bye to SD13 (who was staying with us over the weekend), with lots of kisses and hugs, and more bye's and love you miss you's, but still ignored SD14.
I hadn't seen BM for awhile and I was shocked to see how skinny she's become. It has never been this bad before, even FDH doesn't recall it ever getting this bad. She looks anorexic, maybe around 45 kilo's for her 175cm height (5ft9). I really worry about her, she's ill and she needs help. I wanted to go up to her and talk to her, but the last person she wants to hear from is me of course. I can only hope that someone else will see how bad this has become, and try and talk to her. She needs help, sooner rather then later.