SD new development

imamommyMarch 4, 2009


I'm sorry for this rant... but everything BM says or does, just leaves me shaking my head. It's not even irritating anymore, sometimes it's just stupid funny but this time... GEEZ!

SD is going to be 10 this month. Well, she got her first period and I feel like the lone ranger... DH didn't think it was possible, he thought maybe she went #2 & pushed too hard. I doubted it. Then DH asked his mom who said it's impossible, she is too young to get her period.. that doesn't happen until she's 11 or 12. (Um, she's as big as a 12 year old). So, nobody wants to face the reality that I have been saying to DH for the last year, is inevitable. I let it go until the next day when she tells DH she still has the problem. I tell him to face it and accept it. He sighs... says fine.

So, SD wants to call her mom. DH talks to her first to tell her of this new development. To put it mildly, she freaks out... she starts ranting that it's not possible.. asking how can DH be so calm??? and then finally she asks if maybe someone kicked SD down there???

OMG! I can't even begin to understand that woman!

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"kicked SD down there?
I suppose it's possible, but that's a bizarre response.
TMI here, but I lost my hymen when I was 9 (got thrown off a horse, bounced pelvis-first off a wall and into a jump standard). It was a lot like spotting and lasted almost a day.

So, I suppose, yes, SD could have undergone some physical trauma and have some bleeding from a broken hymen or other minor injury....
HOWEVER, 9and10yos certainly can and do get their periods!
Anywhere from 11-15 is pretty average and normal IIRC, but I know girls who got their periods as young as 8 and as old at 18.

Denial from her parents isn't going to do anything but make SD feel that she has done something wrong.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 12:41AM
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oh my good gawd - that woman is always good for a laugh! I can understand being a little uncertain - she is young - but I can't understand all this 'it just isn't possible' crap. Of course it is possible. One of SD's friends, who is also very tall and big boned and has been since 1st grade, got her period at 9. She also had a chest by 10. SD's mom said she got hers at 9 or 10. It obviously happens.

Jeez Ima, maybe you should just stop beating your SD and these problems wouldn't happen?!! :-)

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 2:33AM
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What a laugh! impossible????? Tell her to open her F'n eyes!
I was 9 YEARS OLD WHEN I GOT MY PERIOD!. Its not impossible.
the only reason why girls in the past got their periods as late as even 15 , 16, is because of nutrition and most likely combination of genes.
My mother was 15 1/2 when she got her period. My SD got it at 12 1/2...
12 -13 is the average doesn't mean that a child cannot get it earlier.
I was 9 when i got i said...and i was as big as a 14 year old. I was very tall for my age and my mom also gave me tons of milk and vitamins from very young. I think that has alot ot do with it as well.
Others says its the meat we are ingesting now because of the hormones pumped into them...wouldn't surprise me for that as well.
lol...what a laugh...someone kick her down there...sure you get kicked and bleed for 5-7 days...maybe next time mother dear should bring her to the emergency for them to official verify that her young daughter is now menstruating....ahhahahhhah...
oh yes.... and i also wore a bra size B at the age of 9....
It does happen youknow.... and there is nothing wrong with it...guess she'll have to cough up money now to buy pads.:)

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 8:15AM
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yeah, last year on her 9th birthday I went and bought her a book on puberty. It talks about what to expect... about everything and how to take care of yourself. (ie. eating right, deodorant, hair care, etc. everything!) and I had a sit down with her to see if she had any questions and let her know I will answer anything she wants to know. She didn't. (I also didn't want her mom getting upset with me for having "the talk" with her so I didn't really tell her much, except to read the book and I'll answer whatever questions she asked me)

I completely expected this and last night, she asked me if it's normal to have pain. She's talking about cramps. So, I said sometimes and gave her Tylenol. I was in the fourth grade and so I know it's possible and I've been telling DH since she came to live with us that it's likely going to happen sooner than later because her physical structure is bigger than most girls her age. She has always towered over the other kids in her class and this year, there are finally a couple of kids as big as her or bigger.

I guess what surprised me is her grandma and her mom being in denial about it. My husband held out a little hope it was something else for a little while but wasn't adamant that it couldn't happen. It was also the way BM reacted that surprised me. DH talked to her first to tell her. She was freaking out and I could hear her yelling or being really loud and I thought she might be upset that she was not here for her daughter and that she was missing out on being the one to go through this with her 'baby'. Then DH handed the phone off to SD and she went in the room and DH tells me how BM can't believe it and she asked him how he can be so calm because she wouldn't know how to handle it! And just as I was about to say OMG!, SD walks in and says 'my mom want to talk to you' and gives the phone back to DH. That's when she asked if it's possible that someone kicked SD down there. He told her no... I can just see CPS knocking on my door in the near future.... lol. (and I also have to wonder what SD said to her... she will tell her what she thinks BM wants to hear sometimes)

In my mind, I expected her to at least be supportive of SD and help her with this but SD has been coming to me for answers in the last few days. I feel a little weird because of all the problems we've had over the last year with her ignoring me and being rude a lot and all of a sudden, she is showing me she needs me. (I mean last Saturday she wouldn't say a word to me... ignored me all day. Sunday she got her period & Monday she is like my shadow) I'm not complaining and I hope it lasts but it's still a little weird for me. It's a mixture of hope, fear, sadness, and happiness for me.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 9:54AM
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Well what are they going to do when the girl needs a bra and razor??

I have never heard of so many people denying that it is possible for a 10 year old to get her period! It is part of growing up....why is everyone freaking out?

On of my sd's got it that young. Within a year she had to wear a bra, shave her armpits, and shave her legs. It all came quick.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 10:41AM
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another thing that surprises me about BM's reaction, is that SD is her younger daughter. I'm assuming she has already been through this with her older daughter, who's now 13. I guess it's possible she hasn't but as a mom of two daughters, I guess I can't believe she's shocked and didn't expect it and says she wouldn't know how to handle it.

Then again, maybe it was just an act to add drama to the event? With her, nothing should surprise me anymore.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 10:42AM
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Oh my!

Yes, it is totally possible! I was 9 years old and in 4th grade when I got my first period!

I pray often that my own DD is spared starting so early...but only time will tell.

Good luck, Ima, sounds like you are going to have to handle this one since BM is in massive denial!

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 11:24AM
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Mom is crazy, not to defend her but .... But I would be very shocked because I do not know anyone who gets it that early. We (women in my family) all get large breasts very early and hair and stuff but not periods. We have to wear bras early and shave early but we do not get periods early. We all have small body frames and get periods rather late 12-13. 9 seems very very early. I would be absolutelly in shock if DD got that at 9. She was certainly just a little girl then!

Well i wouldn't yell of course because I was there for DD, but I would probably suspect that she is spotting due to some trauma (yes she rode horses too). But i am telling you I would be SHOCKED!

It is entirelly possible that her sister, 13-year-old, didn't have period yet, so maybe mom has no experience wiht that. DD got hers at 13, in fact 13 1/2.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 11:38AM
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I can understand surprised. But when you have daughter's, you expect they will get it someday and while 10 might be young (she is 10 this month, so it's silly to say she's 9), it's not 'shocking'.

I guess if someone is out of touch with reality and the rest of the world, they might be SHOCKED! but there was a reason I bought her a book on it on her 9th birthday... I didn't want her to be shocked (like I was because nobody told me ANYTHING beforehand) and telling from her mom's reaction, her mom has probably not talked at all with her about this either. I'd be surprised if she has, but SD is getting all the info she needs on this end.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 11:51AM
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Is this for real? I had my first period at 9 and so did many kids in my class. There's nothing shocking or impossible about it.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 11:53AM
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I was 10 also...and that was over 20 years ago, before the food became quite so full'o steroids!

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 1:11PM
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I was ten so it is possible. How can a woman(biomom) not know this. What does she live under a rock or something?!

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 2:47PM
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Our niece started early, and she wasn't expecting it. Was a little freaked and she was either staying with us, or was out with us.

She adores her aunt (my wife) and they are very close. Her own mother has always said my wife was their second mother, and, to be absolutely cynical, doesn't mind calling at the drop of a hat, for us to pick up the girls/take them to place x or y etc....and is rather wrapped up in her career but threw a bit of a hissy fit - to her mother in law, my wife's mum, about not being the one to give 'the talk' - I can understand that on the one hand, but pretty sure Grandma gave DIL what for - if you trust and encourage your sil to have this close (and wonderful) relationship with niece, then you have to accept that can cut several ways.

My wife/her aunt is a very easy person to talk to, very wise and not judgemental, and a teacher to boot - so niece couldn't really have a better person to talk to, and she likes spending time with us. We try to be an ear/shoulder, without all the emotional charge a teen can have with her parents. I think it's helping her, and we try to encourage it, because in a few short years she won't have time for her aunt and uncle so we try to make the most of it.

I actually think it can be a wonderful thing to have a close aunt or uncle, or a SM or SD that a kid gets along with, and can talk to.

It took a little while for my daughter to accept her SM but they are close now and I think she provided an outlet for her, for things she couldn't talk to her mum about.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 3:21PM
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I think it might be something with women's diet...Like if girls eat a lot of fast food, fatty foods, heavy foods,
full of hormones and steroids then they get periods early...Also depends on where they buy meat and if it is full of steroids.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 4:35PM
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I'm surprised at their surprise. It's been widely reported in news outlets that girls are reaching puberty at a much younger age in the US on average than past years.

My SD is 11 and tiny. Even so she's really close. I can tell because I can see her body changing, more hourglass like. Her moods are even more erratic than normal. So I've been warning her dad that it's getting really close.

Her best friend is more developed and had it at 10.It was no surprise to anyone. Although I found it funny that her mom announced it to us other soccer parents. Well the moms anyway.

So at 11 (12 next month!) my SD is a little behind the curve. She's already been informed of the "talk" at school and from her more developed friends. Her mom doesn't see her that often, so may be surprised, but her mom is in even less in our lives so doubt there'd be any flack about it.

Your sd's BM sounds so kooky. You must shake you head a lot in disbelief!

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 5:41PM
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As a nurse, I am required to ask all girls aged 8 or older about their menses. The average age for black girls to start their period is 9-10 and for white girls is 12-14.

Certainly, if your SD has had signs of puberty for the past year or two (breast development, pubic/axillary hair, etc), she's right on track.

It sounds like she's coming to the right person for advice...since you are the only one who seems to "get it".

Good luck, and...uh, well have fun with many, many years of PMS coming your way!!!!!

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 7:55PM
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lol, I think she's coming to me BECAUSE I'm the only one that seems to "get it". She wants answers! Honestly, I don't think I'm her first choice, she'd rather have her mom right now I'm sure. She goes to her mom's house on Friday and I fear her mom will try to convince her it was something else and if she does, at least SD now knows I will answer her questions.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 8:40PM
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"Like if girls eat a lot of fast food, fatty foods, heavy foods,
full of hormones and steroids then they get periods early"

I don't know about that. I got my period at 9 and I didn't have eating habits like that at all. I honestly think a lot of it is just genetics. My mom started early, and so did my grandma.

I do think girls today are starting even earlier because of hormones in milk, etc.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 8:45PM
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Having one so early may be out of the "normal" age spectrum but.....they are getting them earlier these days...I would expect that she would not have another for a while after this. I have spoken to my SD10 about it and have made sure that she carries a little pantie liner in her backpack. I got mine the summer between 5th and 6th grade. SD10 will be 11 in March.

Her mom is a piece of work....some one kicked her down there? Geez.....I should have had mine then way before 11.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 8:51PM
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Not only the hormones in food, or not, researchers began looking for other causes because it didn't explain the increasingly younger age, and the drop in fertility in men- then they discovered pseudoestrogens, chemicals that mimic estrogen, found in stuff like detergents etc.

Age aside, it's denial. People are scared by their babies growing up, but you still have to be a parent. So many kids, girls especially it seems, get so messed up by parents/relatives attitudes to all this. It's sad, really.

    Bookmark   March 5, 2009 at 3:13AM
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