The Step Mom / Step Daughter Dynamic
Okay, so I am trying to be organized tonight!
Here comes my second "big thought" :)
There seem to be a large mumber of posters who have a good relationship with SS and a troubled relationship with SD. I am one of them and hard as I try, I cannot figure out the problem!!
There has to be an answer----
So here's the typical breakdown (as I see it):
Mother and Father are married/together.
Somewhere in here there is a daughter who may be a lot like her mother (or at least identifies with mother).
Mother and Father divorced/broke up.---This would imply a (sometimes extremely high) level of discord between Mother and Father.
Father marries SM.---This would imply a (a hopefully high :))level of love and affection between Father and SM.
SD feels like SM "replaced" mother and SD (subconciously) fears that SM can replace her,also.
SD fears that a good relationship with SM (her mother's "replacement")would be a betrayal to her mother.
I know this is not a giant epiphany! But why is it so different with SS's? I can't figure out why so many of us can navigate a great relationship with our SS's, but not with our SD's ?!?!? What do you think?