Kids must think we are stupid!!

incognitomomMarch 20, 2011

I'm not sure if they really think we are stupid or what, but ss and younger sd seem to tell the worst lies! I posted about ss's lies and the other day we caught sd in a stupid lie about her cell phone. We were so irritated with her continued lying to us even after we told her she was caught that we had all #'s but ours blocked from calling or messanging her (or her them). Then she decided to admit the truth!

We NEVER had an issue with older sd lying or with ds lying. They are both honest, even if they know they have done something wrong. We have always stressed the importance of telling the truth and have even been more lenient and understanding when the kids tell the truth.

I am really at the point where I am taking this lying as them just thinking we are idiots and gonna believe them!!

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mom_of_4

I have felt the same way! Caught ss looking up inappropriate things on the computer (found it on the history) when I confronted him he insisted that it wasnt him so I showed him the history... still denied it... so I showed him the other section of the computer that shows the time it was looked up ( a time when he is literally the only one home) and yet he still denied it. Been like that about several things... I have actually asked if they think we are stupid or something. It is beyond frustrating!

    Bookmark   March 20, 2011 at 1:15AM
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justmetoo

My liar is a grown adult, SIL, oldest daughter's husband. It wears thin real fast. Too late for him...this guy lies to lie...but I worry about GS8 (his son)that is growing up in that home where he sees Dad and will begin to think that is 'normal acceptable' behavior.

No IMO, most children I don't believe really think you're that stupid (just hoping you might be LOL) but rather over estimate how clever they think they are vs reality. They are young, immature and just can not think and/or think things totally through like an adult can. Sure they are capable of knowing 'right from wrong', but if they're done something against the rules they don't want to perhaps pay the price of the action and try the fib route to avoid the penalty.

IMO, same with lying about doing something like homework that they have not actually done. Maybe just maybe mom/dad won't really know the truth because he/her (the kid) does not think it out far enough to realize dad/mom are going to figure this out when the report card comes or the teacher contacts or there is a P/T conference. Like the computer incident mentioned above by Mom4...kid had no idea about 'history and usage checks', therefore in his mind those things don't exist for mom/dad to know about.

In one way, I think the lying can be an attempt at a defense mechanism (afraid of the discipline or along those lines, or a try to cover up what they might view as self weaknesses or what they fear others may think of them if they knew the 'truth'), in other ways it might be simply they don't want the 'truth' out because they don't want mom/dad to 'shut down' the what and/or actions they are up to.

I have no idea the whys my SIL lies (I didn't know him until he was pushing 30)...I'm half convinced he's a pathological liar and that goes far beyond what I think of as usual reasons for lying in children.

    Bookmark   March 20, 2011 at 8:09AM
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