court again!!

pseudo_momFebruary 24, 2009

So hubby and the ex went to court again today. they have a standing court date every six months because of all the conflict.

So again she does in wanting custody of "all her babies". They are in mediation she starts spouting off about how the boys counselors recommend she have custody of the boys. Hubby lets her go on for a few minutes and then hands her a letter from the counselors recommending visitation be limited because of their behavior issues at her home. Hubby gets up and walks out says let the judge decide.

So they wait for the judge he asks is DSS involved yes it is she proudly says ... so we wait an hour while they contact DSS and others.... judge comes back in calls her up asks what she want she says "DSS recommends I have my children with me" the judge picks up a paper shakes it and say I just happen to have a letter from them ... let me read it out loud for the court.

It starts off that she is using their department to prove she is the better parent while degrading his relationship with his children it went on and on about her using DSS to get custody of the children and they would not suggest any change in custody at this time. It also stated this was a bitter battle and they tried to help the children but mom was more concerned with what the kids did at dad's house than she was with the behaviors that happen in her home that they found disturbing. The last line read unless the children have been seriously harmed the mother is not to call or have anyone else call the department on her behalf or criminal charges would be filed for false accusations.

We will know in a few days what the judge decided.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mom_of_4

HA HA... that was my first reaction :-)

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 12:08AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
imamommy

Wow! The Judge had to take time to think about it??? OMG, that's a no brainer!!! At least in my state, there has to be a change in circumstance to warrant a change of custody and with DSS's stance, I'm surprised the Judge didn't use the opportunity to give mom a tongue lashing in court.

Are they going before the Judge again or will it be a written decision? I hate when they take it under submission and take their time to give an answer. Here in CA, they have 90 days to give their statement of decision and the Judge in my son's case took 65 days to give me the answer decision. It was pure torture to wait! Let us know what happens. Is there any chance SD9 will be sent back to live at dad's?

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 12:10AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
pseudo_mom

This judge always sends notices in the mail his way of diffusing the situation because mom always starts ranting...the court officers surround her. Takes anywhere from 3 to 10 days to get a decision. What sucks is she always get notified the days she has the kids every single time and the days she has had the kids used to change all the time they have been on this visitation schedule for over a year. Then she shares all the info with the kids lets them read the judges decision.

He did say he agreed with DSS that this seemed to be a bitter battle and it would continue to be.

The DSS letter said mom seemed very vindictive towards dad's wife and that seemed to cause mom to be very disturbed in their presence. They recommended intense family therapy for all parties involved.. (we knew this but mom refused to attend family therapy with me and hubby)

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 12:27AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
justnotmartha

Does it not feel good to see what you already knew in print from someone else - someone who 'matters'?? Sad thing is nothing will likely change, but at least they are on to her.

Congrats, I guess, is the right word?

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 1:12AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
liesbeth

WOW I STAND IN AWE!!!!

I'm amazed and pleasantly surprised that sometimes the system DOES work. They could've fooled me.

Good for you guys, excellent!!!

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 2:49AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sweeby

A "standing court date"?! Yikes...

Well, at least the counselor, mediator, DSS and judge are all onto BioMom now.

Whatever happened with SD's "I HAVE to talk to my Mom -- I have anxiety!" hysteria?

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 9:29AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
pseudo_mom

Its only been 3 years of this bull. Finally "someone" besides us is saying she is not right. 2 years ago hubby requested the issue be revisted every 6 months because of all the conflict. She was the one so adament about getting the boys in counseling so we did but we chose the counselors this time :). Hubby and I met with the counselors for about two months with the boys then mom had an issue with them she felt wasn't being addressed so she asked to take them to the counselors you betcha go right ahead.

I will be heading to probate after the letter comes to get a copy of the DSS letter for our records they did not send us a copy of that letter they only sent it to the courts. They kept the case open until yesterday. BM says "they only closed it because of all the budget cuts" The judge said no its states they closed it because the matters were unsupported.

Hubby spoke to DSS over a month ago and told them to write a letter to the courts about their opinion because last time they went to court she said DSS said this and this and then showed the worker what she wrote to the court using the DSS workers names as "proof" so he wanted something in writing as to their opinion whether it favored her or him he did not care but he wanted their opinion stated so she could just not say well dss says I should have custody. So because she or "someone" calls DSS a month before they have to go to court to report how we are mistreating the children they felt she is using dss to gain an advantage in court. They have been called 4 times in 2 years.

The boys counselor called last week to inform of a situation that happened while mom was in with ss11. And while I had her on the phone I asked her to write a letter as to her opinion of the boys situation again we don't care what the letter says but their opinion needs to stated because if they don't BM will say they said this and that counselor said well she can't speak for me I said she will (which she did) I said if you want to put in the letter they need more counseling whatever we don't care what the letter states but we would like your opinion as to custody and visitation in the letter. If you feel the boys should spend more time with mom that's fine too again we don't care what it says we just want your opinion stated so she cannot put words in your mouth.

Sweeby ...the last time they went to court (Aug) hubby told the judge he could not help SD at this time and the best place for her would be with her mother. This time judge asked about SD hubby said "she created that mess with SD she can continue to deal with it". "She has made my DD afraid to be with me and I am dealing with that as best I can but for now she still needs to be with her mother but the boys need to stay with me.

The child support order had been vacated in Aug. She still owes $1200 in CS but the longer it takes her to pay the more the interest goes up its 1% a month. she repays it at $20 a week it will take her 5 years to pay it off. But because she owes they take any tax refunds or lottery winnings from her until its paid off.

She came to court with a stack of papers a good 4 inches thick, hubby had one piece of paper.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2009 at 10:24AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mom2emall

That is great that you got letters so she could not lie and get away with it! Her expression as the judge read the letter had to be priceless!

    Bookmark   February 26, 2009 at 9:39AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
pseudo_mom

To bad I was sitting behind her and couldn't see it ... she was shuffling through her papers .... but the bf's jaw needed to be lifted up off the floor.

So the orders came in yesterday. Temporary orders from nov. 2007 became permanent.

He was ordered sole legal and physical of the boys. She was ordered sole legal and physical of SD. (permanent until she files more paperwork I am guessing she will file within 6 months)

DSS showed up here yesterday to officially close the case meeting with the boys one last time also hoping SD was so he wouldn't have to meet with mom again ... hubby said she will be here friday ... so he is coming here again today.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2009 at 12:46PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Too much?? advice please
Hi. I am a Mum of 2- one being a step child, I am 27...
mummykim
if I could tell stepmothers of adult children anything
My dad remarried last year, a year after my mother...
lilysuzanne40
Choosing Cats over Friends
Sorry, I'm posting this here because I don't know where...
Karen10125
Venting and disengaging
Since the horrible experience of my step daughter's...
southernsummer
step adult kids
Where and how do I start.. my wife has two adult kids....
January99
Sponsored Products
Nourison Michael Amini Platine Charcoal Rug (9'3 x 12'9)
Overstock.com
Renaissance New Heirloom Gold Two-Light Clear Heritage Handcut Crystal Wall Scon
$834.00 | Bellacor
Minka Lavery Aston Court Mediterranean Chandelier
1800Lighting
Minka Aston Court Collection 5-Light Chandelier
Lamps Plus
Salon Burgundy Brocade Chair
Overstock.com
Minka Aston Court 34 1/4" Wide Bathroom Light Fixture
Lamps Plus
Paradox Harvard Court Bronze Four-Light Pendant
$309.90 | Bellacor
AICO Furniture - Windsor Court Wood Trim Leather/Fabric Club Chair...
Great Furniture Deal
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™