Part Time Father
I have a little dilema that I don't know what to do about...
I was married when I became pregnant for my son. The pregnancy was not the greatest and I had him 13 weeks early. He spent 4 months in the hospital before he was able to come home. His father only came to see him once a week, maybe twice at the most, and for about a half hour each visit. He tried to blame it on not liking hospitals, and I accepted it then, but he walked out on us and moved in with his girlfriend just a week after our son came home.
My son struggles with day to day things that we take advantage of like the ability to chew and swallow and the ability to breath clearly with out the aid of perscriptions. He has therapy four times a week and is seen by specialists for failure to thrive, dysphagia, chronic lung disease and GERD. I am unable to work because of the extent of his everyday care.(I guess it was a blessing in disguise - I always wanted to be a stay @ home mom)
My son's dad is unwilling to help me out with our son. He does take him every other weekend and Wednesday evenings which I am greatful for - the break is nice and some mothers don't even get that much out of thier baby daddies. But he thinks that our son does not need the therapy for feeding, he told me he thinks it is a waste of time and shows little interest in working with our son on the techniques that we (my son and I - because his dad wont go) learned.
This week I have been ill and unable to take my son to his appointments - he had 5 this week, some which are really important. Each time I would ask his dad to take him he would tell me that he was busy and had things to do, or that he does not have the gas to be running around. He is not working right now, so I am not getting child support, therfore, I understand what he is going through financially. The thrid day of being sick and my son missing three appointments, I tried to call his dad to see if he could bring him to his appoinment and keep him for the day so I could get some rest and go see a doctor. He did not answer. So I know this was childish, but I packed my sons things and drove to his dad's. I knocked on the door and told him that I have been sick for three days and need to go see a doctor.
When he returned our son later that day, after I found out that I have an upper respitory infection, I found a note in his diaper bag that said that his parenting time is every other weekend and Wednesday evenings, that he is not a babysitter and will not be picking our son up early or keeping him late. And that it is not his girlfriend's responsibility to provide the gas for him to transport our son to his appointments.
So basically this confirms what I knew already, that I would not be getting his dad's help. I just don't know what to do.... Is there some way for me to get through to him that being a dad is more than his scheduled parenting time? And that I do so much taking care of our son and a little bit of help would be nice? Maybe a day off, since my job is 24/7 minus every other weekend - especially since he is not working? Or am I being selfish?