What to do about the cruelness of your boyfriends child's mother
Ok, I just need some good advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, he has a 4 year old, almost 5 year old daughter. I have been in her life for 3 years now and since the beginning her mother has given us nothing but heartache. His daughter took to me right away. I have a way with kids, they love me. I love her like she was my own, but it just seems that her mother is not going to stop until her daughter hates me. I have not tried to be a mother, I have just tried to be her friend, when she is at my house we play games, we do alot of things togeter, we always have fun and then her mother calls us up and says well she said that you guys said this to her, and I do not understand where she comes up with this stuff from a 4 year old. Like before Christmas, she called us up because Abby told her that I told her she had to call her father superdaddy. My boyfreind loves superman, and we have a picture in our room, one day abby and I were in there and she said to me, ya know that picture looks like daddy, and I said yeah it kind of does so she said its superdaddy and ever since then she has called him that, mind you, this was about a year ago. She has always called him this, but her mother told her not to. So in the car she says to us out of the blue, my mommy says i cant call you superdaddy that its superman. And we asked her, well what do you want to call daddy, do you like calling him that, and she said yes but mommy said I cant.... Anyway, this is just one example of the stupid stuff she calls us up for. Another thing that really gets me is when my boyfriends mother went to jail for an absolutely outrageously stupid thing and Abby's mother told her. She whispered in my ear one day that her grandmother went to jail(mind you, this is the grandmother that Abby's mother does not want to admit is her grandmother) and I asked her how she knew that and she said my mommy told me and that astounded me, who in there right mind would tell their 4 year old daughter something like that??? So when my boyfriend asked her why she did she said, oh we were in the store and she saw her picture in the paper( abby would not know my boyfriends mother is she saw her because we barely took her to see her-thats another issue) She had the legal guardian send my boyfriend a letter saying it would be abbys best interest if she did not go to his mothers house. His mother has done nothing to make her do that. We bring her there so she can play with her uncle and aunt who are both under the ages of 9 and 10 and love to see her. I have tried to make amends with abbys mother. We talked on the phone because she said she would not let abby spend the night because she did not know me and I live with my boyfriend. So we talked and met in person, she said my boyfriend kept me a secret, all we do is drop abby off, what does she want me to do, go with him? she doesnt even talk to him about anything to do with abby unless it is negetive and she is yelling at him, she yelled at him for being 15 minutes late once. I could understand being a half an hour or more late but 15 minutes...come on. She even came to his work once after he filed for joint custody to yell at him and tell him she wished he was dead, that she wished he could never be in abbys life and she doesnt even want his money. We only get to see abby once a week and every other saturday. That is not enough time. I just do not understand why she is so mean. she left my boyfriend after she cheated on him. She still wont let abby spend the night either. My boyfriend does not fight her for anything because she doesnt let him talk and doesnt care about anything he says. he just cant deal with her and would rather have nothing to do with her because she is so diffucult, and I think she knows this. Its so hard and i just wish, for abbys sake that we could all get along and talk civilly. I mean, I had a stepmom, my mom was never this mean to her. she let my father take us when he wanted to and we spent the night and she never gave him such a hard time. I am only 20 years old and this is alot for me to take. I love my boyfriend deeply and I love Abby just as much, all I want is for her to see us all getting along. I think she is confused and has even started being mean to me. She has called me mommy on accident and I always tell her no, Im not your mother. And one time she said it on accident and she looked at me and said very snotty no your not my mommy. and I know she didnt mean it in a mean way it just seemed like something her mother drills in her head. Idk just the way abby acts sometimes it seems like her mother is turning her against me. I just want to love her. I dont want her to hate me because of some mental issue her mother has.....what do I do????