25 year old stepdaughter and son living with us
I wondered what I should do about my stepdaughter who showed up on our doorstep with her then 2 year-old son, and has mooched off us for a year now. She has a horrible attitude, blames her father (my hubby) for her whole miserable life... when in actuality it was her mother who basically abandoned her and her sister, then mentally abused them when they did see her. My hubby and I raised them, I loved them like my own, and my hubby is a wonderful father... totally involved in their schools and extra-curricular activities from pre-school until graduation from high school. We gave them everything, our whole lives revolved around them. They are both now 27 years old and 25 years old and the most selfish people I've ever met. They treat their father like dirt, and the 25 year old who lives with us is especially horrible. She is very irresponsible, and should never have had kids. Her first baby was adopted by her mom after he was born, when the stepdaughter was basically homeless and NEVER once went to the doctor during her pregnancy. She got pregnant right away again, and decided she should make a go of it with her idiot boyfriend (the other baby's father too) and keep this baby. We'd moved about 5 hours away from all this a couple of years before (the happiest years of my life), and then they moved about an hour from us right before the second baby was born. I was ok with it, because I figured it was far enough away from her drama, but close enough to visit the baby. The arrangement lasted 2 years, then her boyfriend who was just as much an irresponsible idiot as she is, decided he'd had enough of her and brought her to our door. She is the biggest slob you've ever seen... always been that way, totally disrespectful, mean, and a horrid mother. She has no idea how to raise a child. Her son is exhibiting anxiety when she is around (which is all the time since she doesn't work), and is just miserable until he's alone with us. We love him dearly, and don't know how we can throw her out (which she deserves) when we have to consider him too. I know she is using him as her ace in the hole to act however she wants and know she won't have to leave. Both my hubby's and my health have deteriorated from the stress, and I no longer even want to go home. We are about to lose our home, I am working 9-hours to fight to keep it, hubby is unemployed and has to be around the horror at home every day. She has been the cause of stress, drama, and family rifts since she was a little girl. I don't know what to do any more and I can't take much more. Help!