I'm a SM and BM is getting in the way.
I don't mean that to sound callous towards BMs, I am also a BM where there are SMs involved and I never told my kids they didn't have to listen to their SMs. My 7yr old SS has been told by his BM that he doesn't have to listen to anyone but his dad. I also have two daughters who live with me and my husband. My H is very good about making sure SS listens to me and that he respects me, but it seems that no matter what we do, BM continues to try to ruin it. BM thinks she is the only one entitled to rights with the boy, she's withheld visitation and all sorts of things, we are back in court now and she's facing jail time because she was already in contempt from previously violating visitation. BM doesn't even know me and is hostile enough that there isn't a chance of that happening. I am 7 months pregnant and we don't know if BM even knows because we are so cautious about talking on the phone with her because every time has turned into a fight between DH and BM. My SS is a very good boy, all in all, and I know he can't help that his mom has tried to poison a relationship between us. BM has also told my SS to not tell me he loves me. He was doing so previously but has stopped altogether. I just told him that I love him and it's okay if he doesn't say so until he feels comfortable. He does the typical stuff a 7 yr old will do when they don't get the answer he doesn't want and goes to the other parent and we nip that in the bud right away, but my issues are when the baby gets here, if BM is going to continue to poison SS relationship with new baby as well. This will break my heart. I am getting to where I feel like giving up and not trying with SS but I know that won't help anything. It's not in my nature to 'give up' on anything but my emotions are getting the better of me (hormones) and I feel I invest so much and don't get anything back where it comes to SS. Any advise on how to strengthen my relationship? It's snowing all the time here so a lot of outside activities are out of the question especially at this stage of pregnancy. I've been a stepmom before, my first husband died and my first SS and I still talk but he's older now. That seems to have been so much different than this one.