I couldn't believe my ears
So last Friday night I was in cleaning the kids' bathroom. SS casually walks in to the bathroom and begins talking to me. I continue to clean and let him talk. He's talking about his step brother at his mom's again. He just seriously hates this kid. I make conversation with him and allow him to vent. I tell him that he really needs to discuss this with his bm. That she needs to know how he feels. I also tell him I feel really sorry for her because she has to live with this evil little brat all the time. I tell him that he really really should talk to his mom. Then he drops a bomb. He says (what we've always known but haven't said around him) that it doesn't matter what he tells him mom at night cause she's not going to remember it by morning anyway because she drinks way too much everyday. My mouth kinda dropped and eyes got big. I stayed very calm and continued cleaning. I let him talk, I threw in a couple questions here and there so he knew I was listening. According to him his step dad also drinks very heavily. He says he's not like old step dad though. Meaning he's not a violent alcoholic just a stupid one. I let him talk quite a bit. He asked me if I ever noticed that his mom's eyes were glassy everytime she dropped him off. I said yes, he said it's not cause she's drunk right then, it's because she's hungover. She always asks us to pick him up pretty early in the day. My guess is so she can then continue to heavily drink.
I made a simple statement that he should NEVER EVER get in any car with ANYONE if they've even had one drink. He said they don't usually go anywhere, they're at home drinking. I said ok good. BUT THEN he said that last year when they went to Florida on their wedding night they drank a bunch then drove and step dad drove 120 mph. He told me that he was really scared that night. I couldn't help my facial expression of jaw dropping, eyes getting big, again.
He then tells me that it's weird how comfortable he is talking to me about this stuff but he's not with his dad. (My dh) I told him that he could tell his dad anything and his dad would never be mad at him. (Of course dh would be upset with bm) He said he's just scared dh will be mad at him. I think me staying calm and getting upset inside but not really showing it drastically helps him. My dh on the other hand would probably blow up.
He then tells me that this is the reason he doesn't like going there often, between the evil step brother and his moms drinking. He knows his grandpa (her dad) died from alcohol abuse. He loves his mom but doesn't like this behaviour.
He very adamently told me he WOULD be with us during his next birthday, next Thanksgiving and next Christmas. He is bored to tears at his step dads family's house, hates the kids there, his mom doesn't pay attention to him anyway..... and he wants to see his relatives. (And by that he's meaning MY family)
All week afterwards he was very lovey with me. Kept coming up to me telling me he missed me (I'd only been gone an hour lol!) and that he loved me and hugging me tight.
He knew he was going to his moms this weekend. Now, she says he called her and told her that he was upset with us and wanted to stay till Monday because they are out of school. Monday is my ds11-12 bday. I refuse to drive a 4 hour round trip after we get off at 6 on his bday. She said he was upset because he didn't get a party for his bday. Ok, my ds doesn't have a party planned. We are taking him out to eat, just like we did ss. So my dh told her that no, she couldn't keep him till Monday. He also told her that we don't do parties and we took him to eat same as everyone else and he had it on video on his phone of them singing to him and him wearing the sombrero. He could send it to her if she'd like. He also said that we didn't think we had to do much because she had him the weekend of his bday and she promised him the game truck with tons of video games in it and then she didn't bother to get it and he was upset when he came home.... so we made up for it. She immedietly just said she thinks he just wants attention from his dad. OMG!!!!!! For Christ's sake, he spends every possible hour with the kid doing everything for him and she sees him two days a month and refuses to go to his sporting events (she refused again Friday). I've checked his phone. Plus he told me that she doesn't call him, he has to call her. She doesn't text him..... and when they do talk, it's like a 3 min conversation. He also said she slurs her words talking to him at night cause she's drunk and he knows it.
Anyone think he's playing us, or she is? I've had so many in depth conversations with him that I don't start that I find it hard to believe her. My heart hurts thinking he's playing me. I really believe it's her. What do you think?
Oh.... and she's FINALLY garnished for her support now. BUT I've gotten collection calls from the orthodontist cause she hasn't bothered to pay at all yet. DH mentioned this Friday night and she rolled her eyes and said she'll pay it. We will see. (SS has head gear now, if she doesn't make him wear it I'm ringing her neck!)