step dad and 8 year old daughter
I recently got married about a year ago and to put it nicely it has been an experience. My husband and my daughter used to get a long so well before we got married but now they can't stand each other. It is so frustrating for me to be in the middle.
My daughter and I have been together almost all the time since she was born really without a dad figure around. Her dad is still around but really doesn't do that much with her. He goes to school and work, but doesn't really spend much time with her, he ususally has someone watching her when he has her half the time. He and I divorced when she was about 3/4. My husband has been around us pretty much since then. He was in and out of our lives quite often because we had a rocky dating relationship. However they got along beautifully when he was just the "boyfriend"
Since we have been married there has been so many problems. She is very rude to him. She talks like she is a grown up, one day he told her she can not have a food he bought since she is rude to him, she in turn tells him that he bought it out of the joint account so it's her mom's too. Another day my husband and daughter were going at each other and she told him to leave the house, the house he already owns. Which of course upset my husband very and he pretty much has not talked to her since then. That was about a month ago. Anytime she talks he just walks away. There was a school open house that he refused to go because of the way she talks to him. He will put ear plugs in when he doesn't want to talk to her.
He and I are also fighting a lot so I can't sit down and talk to him because all I'll hear is how much of a brat she is. It's tearing me up. I love both of them so much and they both are my life.
I don't know what to do anymore. I want a house filled with laughter, but it's not happening. She either causes problems or he either can't forget what she has done. The day we got married she was a brat and to this day, 9 months later he still says she ruined the wedding. Don't get me wrong, I discipline and I punish her, probably not as much as my husband thinks she should be punished but I'm still her mother in the end. I can not just stop talking to my child. When she has a school project, I can not tell her that I'm not helping her with it.
Please help me. I'm crying so much and am getting so depressed. We tried taking her to counseling but she continued to be the same girl. I don't want our marriage to end but he walks out of the house so upset or if I say anything to him he seems angry. every month we fight for a week or two at a time. I am scared to think of what is going to happen to my family.