New stepmother to estranged adult children - need advise and help
I need some help. I have been with my husband for 8 years now. In the beginning it was just me and my two girls and grandchildren; however, now a son has surfaced that my husband gave up his rights to years ago. I have so many mixed feelings inside and feel like a horrible person for feeling this way. First of all I would also like to say that I was pregnant with his child and he wasn�t happy about it and suggested maybe even abortion back then. He claims the reason he did was because of our age. But, for some reason, when I hear of this boy contacting him, it reverts back to him not wanting a child with me. Truthfully, he was probably right, we were both in our later 30s at the time�
I feel resentment inside and wish the boy wouldn�t have resurfaced. However; my husband wants a relationship with him and he does with him as well. Of course I am feeling sorry for the father who raised him all these years and supported him financially as well.
I need some help on how to be a good stepmother to an adult child. I wasn�t expecting to be in this position when I married my husband, but now it seems I really don�t have a choice or I will end up losing my marriage, not to mention taking away a dad to my 12-year-old daughter who has been her stepdad for 8 years.
I should say, he gave up his rights, as he got behind in child support so bad, that he felt he had no choice back then. His ex and her husband raised both his biological sons for 20 years.
Any advise from stepchildren or stepparents would be appreciated. I don�t want to be the evil "Stepmom" . This is hard on my daughter as well having the conflict between me and my husband. I want her to be in a happy home.