Lending money to adult son/stepon - Whaddayathink?
Adult SS29 asked his Dad on Dec 15 if we could lend him $1000 for "just 30 days" so he could put up his security deposit on a house that he was moving his family of 5 into. Saying that he would get back his other security deposit (from the house that they were currently in) in 30 days, and then he would be able to pay us back.
DH told SS29 that he would talk it over with me and get back to him. I felt that this answer to SS29 put me in a lose/lose situation! If DH told SS29 "no", then SS29 would basically know that I was the one who put a stop to the loan. If I said "yes", then I would be doing something that I thought was a bad idea, and wondered if I would ever see the money again. I felt forced to keep peace and said yes.
That was Dec 15; we lent SS29 the money. Our Christmas visit was uneventful. Then right after Christmas DH and I went to help SS29 move for 2 days, and paint the whole house etc.
It is not Feb 19. We have not heard anything for SS29.
I feel that if I bring it up to DH, that it will be a very sore subject, and will ruin our weekend. I feel that SS29 should be the one to contact us with what his plan is for paying us back. It is his responsibility. We shouldn't have to be the "bad cop" to go after our money.
And another thing. I don't want it back it bits and pieces. I want $1000 cash all at once, just like we lent him.
This is why it is such a BAD IDEA to lend money to family members. This is why they have banks! My DS23 needed $1000 for something similar about 6 months ago. I never even heard about it until after it was all over. DS23 went to the bank and took out a 90 note for the money. He handled it on his own, like I feel that grownups should do!
Please don't lecture me on whether or not we have the money, or so and so needed the money etc. It has nothing to do with whether we can afford to lend or not afford to lend. It has to do with the fact that I work for my money, my DH works for his money, and the adult children should work for their own money!