Help me get my thoughts in order please!
I am sitting here dreading Wed-Sun of this week.
I am feeling very resentful of my DH right now and I'm feeling very burdened with my SS.
When he is with us, I am the one caring for him 90% of the time, and it's getting old. I can't help but feel like I am being dumped on here. And I do not see an end in sight.
SS will come over after school on Wed--- DH will pick him up from school and he'll get to our house around 4:45 or 5 pm. DH will head back to work until 8:30--which means he won't be home until 9 pm.
So I will do dinner, baths, and homework for the two kids. DH won't even be home until after SS is in bed. Last Wed. SS SOBBED when he went to bed because he missed his dad. :(
Thursday I will pick my DD up at school at 3 pm, drive 20 miles to SS's school, and wait around for 30 mins until he gets out at 4:10. Then we will make the trek back to our house, probably arriving at 5 pm. DH will get home around 6:30 or 7 pm. At that point, the kids will have eaten and homework will be done.
Friday DH will pick SS up at school, drive him home and go back to work until 7 pm. So he won't be home until 7:30.
Saturday DH will work from 9-6 pm so I will have SS and my DD all day.
Sunday DH will be "off" but most likely, he will end up going in to the dealership to do some paperwork for a couple hours, leaving me with the kids.
I don't mind the occasional night, but it seems like DH is NEVER home anymore, and SS is always with me when he's here, and I feel like I am doing ALL the work.
I'm feeling REALLY overwhelmed right now and I HATE the fact that it's Monday and I am dreading SS coming back to our house for his long 5 day stretch. He's been at his mom's since last Friday, and it's been a NICE break. I have not missed him being here one iota! I enjoy spending time with my DD, she was off school Friday and today, and we've done some fun things; she spent the night with my mom on Saturday, we went to a movie yesterday, made some jewelry, etc. I do not have that quality time with her when SS is here and honestly, I miss it. When DH is home, and it's more balanced, it is easier, but I honestly DISLIKE being the primary caregiver for SS.
EVERYTHING is irritating me about the way things are. Last week, SS did not go to school on Wednesday b/c he had a cold--so he was home with BM that day. DH picked him up around 4 pm from her house and brought him home with 32 Valentines that needed to be addressed, folded, and have a piece of candy attached. UGH. I had my own DD's 15 that she needed to do, as well. Plus, SS had 2 pages of homework from Tues night. WHY BM could not have done these things with him during the day while he was home is beyond me?
I know that seems like such a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but it just irritated the crap out of me!
HELP ME. I don't like feeling this way. I've tried talking to my DH and he just says "well, you have DD all the time, and you like being with her, so what is the problem if SS is there, too?"
Truthfully, I don't really know what the problem is.
With DH--I kind of feel like saying "What would you do if I weren't in the picture?"
I'm not saying he doesn't need to work--I know he does, and I understand that as his wife, I have to pick up some of the slack at home when he's busier, but at the same time--if I weren't around, he'd need to figure it out.
I feel like a babysitter. :( I don't like it.