Consider divorce over step kids

dell123February 13, 2013

Hello everyone. Not a great story teller. I will try to be brief.
I have been married 6 years to a widow with two boys11, 13 I had a daughter of myown 11 and now a son 5. Not even sure were to start. I think I need to leave.
My step sons are not terrible. Good grades and some what well behaved. I feel terrible about even speaking about this. But I have been unhappy for very long now.
Starts out. Ss's are spoiled. If they want something they get it regardless of behavior, not really consequences to any actions. I step in and lay some punishments and rules down to only be undermined by my wife. This happens so often it's sad. So. I gave up. I basically don't get involved unless my son is in bio son is involved. He's 5 so the only time he's involved is when he's being mistreated by his older siblings. ( he's not an angel either). But being hit by a 11 year old is a little much for me.
Now my daughter lives about 30 mins away and hasent stayed a weekend at my home since 3 years ago. Basically my wife who has a history of being phycho went nuts on my daughter once agian. Long story short, cops , court, child services lawyers involved. Nightmare! Out come. Visitation modified. Daughter can't stay for weekends unless she chooses to. And she hasent. So basically I see my daughter every other sat. Fml!
Lately I have just been thinking about how easy my life would be had i just never married my wife. I am walking around telling my self how I hate my life. I feel like I am trapped.
Oh btw. I live in my wife's home. She owned it before meeting me. I repectfully don't want any part of it( its not mine). But I say I I want my own home and she Dosent wanna get a new house. Reasons. Where will most of money come from. And if we did have a home together if I died she would have to leave part to my daughter which means my daughters mother would be involved. So basically I hate life right now. Except the other day I took out my daughter and my son together. I felt so in control and free. I thought I could get used to this.
Scraping surface here hope t not to long.

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Kind of curious as to why you married someone with a history of being psycho (enjoy living on the edge?) but it does sound like you are unhappy and the differences are unresolvable. If your wife won't come to the party of couples counselling, in your shoes I'd be having a darn good think about cutting my losses. Regain your daughter before it's too late.

    Bookmark   February 13, 2013 at 11:18PM
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too much going on here & only one side of it heard, & everything is someone else's fault.

*Nobody* would want to sell separate property to buy community property.

*Nobody* would want a new spouse to "lay down some punishments" on his/her children.

It's easy to say someone has a history of being psycho, but the story is too general;
police, lawyers, CPS, amended visitation can happen because of any number of reasons.

Once CPS is invited "in", they can't be invited "out", & w've all heard of instances in which CPS is called out of spite.

Your title says the stepsons are the problem, but the post doesn't support that at all.

If you're unhappy, get the heck out.
If you want your own home, buy one.
If your wife really is a nut, file for custody of your son.

    Bookmark   February 14, 2013 at 11:36AM
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Since you now have a son together, you need to carefully think this thru. I could be reading too much into this, but it almost sounds like you're not even in love with your wife anymore. If that's true, you should leave, it's not fair to anyone. Counseling is the first step here though if both of you are willing. I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2013 at 2:29PM
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