I am tiered and have a headache!!!!!!!!

imamom2February 19, 2009

Well the SH** has hit the fan..... I have posted on here many times about my SD's and their Mother, and grandkids. Well Monday it all came to a head. This will probley be a long one, but I need to know what you guys think.

As I have mentioned before my husband has Kideny Cancer. Right now things are going ok. He is doing radiation for a rib met. His youngest daughter is bipolar and is pregnant with her 4th child and has no idea who the father is of this child, and only knows the father of 1 of the 4 for sure. We were talking about adopting the child she is pregnant with and when hubbys ex heard about it she said no she would take the baby and wanted to name it after my husband if it was a boy, make it a JR. or the 2nd. She has no job and my husband has to pay her 600.00 per month in allimony. I think the woman is crazy.

My husband and myself had power of attorney and child custody papers for the oldest grandchild. In July the SD took the GC back and had her go live with her sister the oldest SD and her family and Mother(hubby ex) This SD has 4 children and then 3 adults living in a 3 brm trailer(not a double wide) So in total there were 8 people living in a trailer. This SD and her husband are both on methadone to get off of pain pills they have been addicted to for years, and at one time hubbys ex was also addicted to pain pills. This past weekend we picked up the GC and she was so upset because she had been told my husband was dead or would die or something. Either way she thought her PopPop was dead. That killed my husband that this 5yr old child was thinking this way. We were having dinner with my husbands middle daughter( he has 3 grown girls). I as well as my husband were rather upset over what had been told to this child. Since she had been staying with her grandmother and Aunt she has been very depressed and seemed so sad. She is so afraid someone is going to die. She even ask if her dogs are still alive(Our dogs at our house). While talking with the Middle SD I made the statement that if something was not done to make this child feel better abut the situation she was in then I will inforce the papers that we have. Well me and my BIG MOUTH. (she also thought I was fighting over a straw that she had picked up to put in the grandchilds cup) She thought I didnt want her to do it. Kinda crazy but.....

Well as it goes with this bunch she ran back to her mother and sisters and said we are going to take the child away from her mother. Which was not what was said and not how I meant what I said. Then the SD, the mother of the GC calls and is giving my poor hubby HE**. Knowing he had to start raidiaton today. The middle SD said she never wants to see her father again. I just can't belive these people are for real. How can you treat your father this way knowing what he is going through?

I know I have mentioned this before, but I think for the sake of my husband and his health that I have to step away from this situation SK as well as the GC. I want him to have a relationship with all of them, and I think as long as I am around that it will be nothing but drama. I dont want him to not have his kids and grandkids. Even though his health is ok right now. There is no cure for kideny cancer, all you can do is streat the tumors when they show up. So he could have 2yrs or 10yrs or more we just dont know. I also think it would be easier for the GC to deal with me leaving the situation while they are younger then to have to loose me and their PopPop at the same time. My husband has also said that he dosent think his kids will let me see the GC much, unless I force it. I just want my husbands to have peace for the time he has left, be it 2yrs or 20yrs. The last 10yrs have been nothing but drama and hurt. I also want to have these last wonderful years with my husband and I want them to be peaceful.

I really just dont want my husband or myself to hurt anymore. It is very tiering and I have had a BIG headache for 2 days. Thanks all for letting me get this off my chest.

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I can't believe what you are going through!! I guess all I can say is I hope that (by some miracle) things get better for you and your husband.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2009 at 4:42PM
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Thanks trix that is about all we can hope for. I just want to do what is best for my husand.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2009 at 5:39PM
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She wants to adopt her grandchild and name him after her ex husband as a Jr.? Talk about not letting go! Sounds Severely crazy. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You're in my prayers!

    Bookmark   February 20, 2009 at 12:21AM
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Oh yes she will not let go... My husband and I went on a trip over Christmas. We went to Europe. She told her daughters how hurt she was and that she should be with him on this trip. They had planned to do this after the kids had grown up. Well my husband is retired Army after 20 yrs. She was in Germany with him and Hawaii.

There are things that my ex husband does with his new wife that we may have talked about doing, but I would never tell my kids oh I am so hurt that was our dream. One is because any dream I have or had I don't want to be with my ex.. She is a Great Big Nut. Its been long enough she should be over the divorce by now, and for her to say these things to her children shows she is not over him, and I think it just makes the relationship with my husband and his kids as well as their relationship with me very hard.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2009 at 9:29AM
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WOW!! She is pathetic!! I forgot if you mentioned this before, but how did their marriage end?

    Bookmark   February 20, 2009 at 9:53AM
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One she had an affair. He tried to stay for the sake of the kids. When he retired in 97' the marriage was over. They were living seperate lives. His kids told me he never smiled and was always so unhappy. His ex was dignosed with Manic Depression at one time and was on a high dose of Lithium. Then she would not take her meds and become the biggest BI***. Then she would go back on meds and think saying I am so sorry would make it all better. He just couldnt live with her anymore. Thats what I have been told by my DH and the stepkids.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2009 at 10:51AM
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