Need some input on SD16
I would be interested to hear what people think of my situation. DH and I have been married since SD was 8 and have two BDs (6 and 3).
In a nutshell, SD16 thinks it's OK to be rude to me and everyone in my house (including DH and our BDs). DH and I ended up in counseling over SD16 about four years ago. The counselor said DH needed to step up and discipline SD16 (that will never happen) and that he needs to make sure she is polite and courteous to all in the house. I am to be polite and courteous in return.
For a long time, DH did not enforce this (in denial). But as SD's behavior (and our relationship) continued to deteriorate, he actually decided to step up about four months ago. His only request of SD16 is that she be polite to people when she is in their houses. That's it. And she is incensed by this. She was supposed to come for Thanksgiving, which is at my parents' house every year. DH told her she must be polite to my parents, so she refused to come. Ditto at Christmas, he again asked her to be polite to my family and she refused to visit.
A week ago DH went and GOT SD and brought her down for a visit. On the way to our house he again told her to be polite (to ME), and she flipped out. Said all kinds of nasty things to him, including that he chose me over her. That is not at all the case. He simply asked her to be polite, which would only involve actually greeting me when she enters my house. Instead, she refuses to acknowledge me, walks past me like I'm invisible, etc.
What do you think? I'm proud of DH for standing up about this one TINY thing. But I think DH believes it will be the death knell of their relationship, and after she left he texted and "apologized" for fighting with her. I was appalled. He didn't do anything wrong by having a simple expectation, she did by having a hissy fit. Help!