Joint Custody and Child Counseling
SS, 8, has been seeing a counselor since DH's divorce when he was 4. DH was not consulted on the decision for him to see a counselor, but did not argue with it because he thought it was necessary. Since we were married five months ago BM has began taking younger SS, 5, to the counselor as well. We only learned about this from SS5. We were never consulted about it by BM. When DH asked BM about it, she said it was just to "get him comfortable" with the psychologist.
We see no reason for this. He is a perfectly happy little boy.
From what I understand, parents who have joint custody need to agree on children's medical treatment, including psychology. Is this correct?
Any insight would be appreciated.
Just a background...BM has an extensive history of putting a negative spin on EVERYTHING we do in our home. DH is a very involved, loving, father and also a professional. She is constantly critizing everything from our nutritional choices to the way DH coaches SS baseball team. She even asks him not to show up at SS sporting events because it is too uncomfortable for HER. Of course we do not comply, and the boys love their dad's support.
We don't want SS5 to become convinced he has problems, and begin seeing her on a regular basis. And for that matter we really don't see a need for SS8 to continue to see the therapist. They are both very happy and well adjusted boys.
SS8 has told us that BM is now in the room in all therapy sessions with both boys, and tells us they "aren't supposed to say anything" to us about what they talk about with the psychologist. We really think BM is determined to make our marriage a cause of concern for the boys.
DH has called the psychologist to discuss whether the boys need to see her at all, and she does not return his phone calls. The psychologist has told us in our previous visits that she does not believe in shared placement of children (which we are trying to accomplish right now).
I know it sounds kind of crazy, but we are beginning to think the psychologist is not a neutral third party with
the children's best interests in mind. We would like to put a stop to the children seeing her.
DH has a meeting with our attourney on Tuesday to discuss the legalities of this, but I am curious if anyone has any insight?